The truth about the race…
As a racer I have it engrained in my head to constantly be learning, constantly growing and thinking about how to incorporate everything in to an incredible well written blog (that’s not too long). A lot of times you’ll hear conversations about social media like “what filter should I put on this picture?” or “is this a good caption for that picture?”
But the truth of the matter is when it comes down to it, y’all only see what we choose to allow you to see. Unfortunately, most of the time that probably creates this picture of an adventurous nine month vacation, that occasionally had a few cute babies thrown in to it!
To be honest though you don’t know the world race, if you have talked to me in the last nine months I apologize for shattering the glass with this post! The world race actually looks nothing like my insta-posts and it really looks nothing like what I even say it is most of the time. The world race for me has mostly been heartbreak, exhaustion and confusion. I regret not letting you into all the struggles I’ve had… I wish you could know the extreme frustration we’ve faced, or the trials that I’ve faced that kept me awake at night. I wish you could see the moments where I’m holding a precious child with silent tears running down my checks (praying the child won’t see them). I haven’t shared my countless team times and feedbacks. Nor have I (un)fortunately shared when I get together with Chelsea and roll around on the floors half laughing half crying about how ratchet we are. I haven’t let you experience some of the most random, weird conversations I’ve had ever in my life. You haven’t smelt me {praise God}. And truth be told I’m glad you haven’t seen me in person (I’m nasty trust me). I don’t blog about the cold showers or our friendly cockroaches that live in the kitchen. I don’t talk about my pet spider Ralph that lives in our room. You haven’t sat and watched moe kill literally 20 flies with her now blood covered journal. You don’t laugh till you cry every time Devan opens her mouth! You haven’t experienced a {sassy} southern Sunday with Leah. You don’t watch Jacqueline read every night before you go to bed or wake up every morning to her reading the bible. You don’t have the pleasure of hearing Annika’s sas after a long day or her obsession with “give in to me” by Garett Hedlund! Thankfully you don’t hear me complaining. I haven’t shown you the hours of waiting I’ve done. And to be honest it’s probably impossible to wrap your head around some of the stuff I’ve done simply because I can’t wrap my brain around it most of the time!! Most won’t understand the ease at which I scream mom when I see/need JM! My fights with Grace probably mean little to y’all. I don’t think most would care about how cute I think Haley is EVERY single day! Or the other countless random things all my other housemates bring to the table!
Entering this last ‘month’ of the race, is bittersweet and really confusing! I feel the need to mentally prepare everyone for my return but at the same time I have come to realize that I need a whole ton of help too!! We’ve missed nine months of each others life’s and now they will all collide in a few short days. I am excited for my first moments back in America (the ones after I get over leaving my pals). I’m choosing to prepare myself to the idea that in “becoming an American, again” I will need a whole ton of grace (both to give and receive). I wish you too were able to be in every single one of my moments over the last nine months. In the same way also I wish I would have been there to experience every one of your last 21,772,800 seconds of life! My prayer is that this blog would not wound you but rather give you a taste of what exactly my life is like.
These last nine months, have been nothing more than just my life! Going to the grocery store and making runs to go get wifi isn’t as glamorous as it may seen. However, The World Race has been where The Lord wanted me and I will forever be grateful He brought me here!
