A child.
Full of innocence.
Full of love.
Full of life.
Full of laughter.
Full of joy.
Full of forgiveness.
Full of hope.
A child that has that crazy innocent twinkle in their eyes as they jump from one place to another. A child who dares to dream. A child who knows nothing but love, affection and hope. These children exist I see them playing at church, I hear their squealing laughs at the park, I witness children like this often in my own home. I know that children with a passion and joy for life exist.
But what happens when that innocence is stripped from them
For so long I have walked in the dark shadows of my past so afraid to let myself go, because as a child I was stripped of my innocence and I was forced to see the world as a dreary place, I lived it, I was there. I know what pain sounds like, I know what pain feels like, I know where pain comes from…
July has been a whirlwind of many adventures, many travels and so much love. And as promised I am here to share those moments with you. So, let us start….
PUERTO RICO- July 2014- Disciples Unlimited (Peace Lutheran Student Ministry)- Arecibo, Youth Works
It’s mission trip season for so many churches and my church was no exception. This year we had the amazing opportunity to travel to Arecibo, Puerto Rico. While in Puerto Rico our church served at multiple different ministry sites. When ministry sites were announced I was pumped to find out that I would be serving at Nuevo Amanacer an emergency shelter for boys and girls ages 8-15 whom have been abused, mistreated or have had behavioral issues. Children who come are usually only around for 21 days (the time the government allows), however sometimes they stay longer. Of course I now am walking in to this ministry site with preconceived notions of living situations and what we will be doing there… Yet somewhere in the mix I had forgotten that God has a wicked sense of humor and a crazy way of wrecking plans.
As we pulled to Nuevo Amanacer the first day there was an odd stillness about the place. Was this what I was expecting? I have no idea. However, the quiet was not due to the kids being locked away in their rooms but rather they were on a field trip! (Here’s where God begins to change plans) After a phone call we were directed to a back up ministry site, a retirement home, close to the church where we were staying. I am a person who enjoys just rolling with the punches and going with the flow BUT I am not a person who connects well with the elderly, it just never seems to work for me… Until I met Juan, the sweetest most caring 80 year old man I’ve ever met. When we met Juan we were doing some light yard-work in the hot Puerto Rican sun (where sweat is inevitable), the heat didn’t much seem to affect Juan as he stood there striking up a conversation with our adult leader and some girls from our youth group. Juan used to live in New York and spoke some English, he was very likable and had many things to tell us. As the hours passed Juan continued to tell us stories of journeys in the states funny stories when the English/Spanish barriers were too much to even get a glass of water. Juan told us of the provision of the Lord and the way that He will carry us through many obstacles in life. And when Juan went inside we expected to not see him again, yet again we were wrong Juan had just gone inside to dress himself up, grab a cup of coffee and come out with some more stories. Soon our first day of ministry came to a close and as we said our goodbyes it was almost a little sad… Not to fear though we were informed that we would be able to return tomorrow!
Second day of ministry: What a crazy fantastic day we arrived at Nuevo Amanacer and were instantly greeted by a slew of welcoming boys! We were asked immediately to partake in a game of basketball and as we joked and laughed despite the language barrier I was so glad to be there in that moment. A good majority of our morning was spent playing basketball and soccer and then joking with the boys. I really seemed to enjoy my time talking with one of the girls, who had a story that spoke true to many things I knew and had once felt. You see I believe connections can be made in an instant with a single smile, a single word, a single gesture that’s when a relationship begins. As lunch time rolled around we realized that our first day with the kids was coming to a close. This is the time in which we were also told that some of the children would not be there when we returned in the morning and that they really didn’t know which ones would leave and which ones would stay. The rest of the day we spent playing dominoes with Juan and our new friend Roberto; which was a blast in it of itself!
Day three Ministry: When we arrived this morning five of the boys were gone and the group did their best to stay positive and not let it bring them down, but it was hard to know that the relationships we had formed the previous day seemed nearly to be in vain… With that being said we were so blessed by three new girls to love on that the sorrow soon faded. As promised as well one of the boys who was still there came and hung out outside with us! We spent time playing spot it, singing, dancing, leading various workouts, and sharing some laughs.Oh! And getting soaked as the kids would jump in their above ground pool! It was such a beautiful day and when lunch time arrived and we were all preparing to go visit Juan and Roberto the children began to beg us to stay we could only find it in our hearts to stay longer.
Fourth and final day of ministry: There’s always something so bittersweet about knowing it’s your last day somewhere. And our last day at Nuevo Amanacer was no different. The previous day the kids had asked us to bring swimsuits so we could all play in the pool! Of course we did and it was such a welcomed change! When we pulled up the kids were all waiting in their bathing suits and were very excited that we had ours on too so as we raced to get in the pool, the realization of our new found relationships was so clear!! I have to say that I have never seen a fuller pool as all the kids and all of our team pilled in to the pool! In those moments we laughed and we created “tornadoes”. In those moments our hearts were full and nothing mattered. Yet, once again the inevitable lunch time rolled around and as we got out of the pool the tears began to flow and as the tears flow the kids began to think we were all sorts of weird! And when they asked us why we were crying we were quick to respond “because we love you!” and no sooner had the words flown out of our mouths did the smiles on those kids faces shine bright (one of the boys blushed). But it was true never had I felt more sure that I loved a person than in that brief moment when they needed to be reminded that we weren’t just there for some mission trip or for some silly vacation to feel good about ourselves but we were there for them, there to love them and there to be the person that had never been in there lives to just simply love them…
Now we see a child…
Who’s broken pieces can be mashed back together.
Who one day will be able to love like no other.
A child with a smile that needs to be discovered.
A child whom treads lightly into a new relationship but will still love you in the end.
And children who I will miss everyday from here on out.
Unfortunately, when we went to say our goodbyes to Juan and Roberto there were not there. Yet, God knew what He was doing and we had the opportunity to join in fellowship and talk and cry and debrief and cry some more.
All in all it was a week of intense love and emotion and this post barely scratches the surface of every hour of Puerto Rico that changed me. In fact it barely even touches on the highlights of my trip… But in order to spare you from what could become word vomit I must close with this…
Everyone has a story. Everyone can be strong. Everyone can love and be loved. And everyone belongs.
