Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath…
I can't make it, I'm too tired…
Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath…
It happens when you are running. You are exhausted, your throat is burning, and to put one more foot in front of the other seems like an impossible task. Just as you are about to give up something inside of you says no! So you take a deep breath, and all of a sudden you are no longer tired, there is air in your lungs, you feel like you can run further, maybe even faster.
The Runners second wind…
Second wind is a phenomenon in distance running, such as marathons or road running (as well as other sports), whereby an athlete who is too out of breath and tired to continue suddenly finds the strength to press on at top performance with less exertion.
My second wind…
And so GOD woke me up tonight, at 2:30am to give me a second wind. I began this journey with about 330 days of serving the LORD on the missions field. Before the race the longest I had been on a missions trip was one month. There was no distance running, a month was just enough time to sprint the whole way, and come home on some super JESUS high, and tell everyone how amazing your trip was. Well when you are gone a year you can't sprint the whole way. The world race doesn't work like that, we are gone too long, and we see too much stuff, there are countless emotions, and everyday is not top speed. In the bush of africa you don't have the resources to run and grab the nearest Christian book on healing, or loss. this is real life, and for the most part those intimate moments are just you, and JESUS. Think of all the seasons you go through in a year. There is usually a dry season, a mountain top, a fatigued season, and to experience all of that out here it honestly changes the way you view missions forever.
I went through a season here where I never wanted to do missions again, I was so tired, and hurt I didn't think I would ever want to leave home again. I went through a season where I loved every minute of every day, I poured out and spent myself all day, and it still seemed so little. And there are many other things I have experienced, but I failed to realize before I came here that this was about Distance running, and not speed. GOD cares little about how fast I learned the lessons, my job here was to endure, and make it to the end.
And now I know I can do that…
21 days…
I will be home in 21 days, and that absolutely blows my mind. I have been trying to figure out ways to process this journey, ways to end it with peace, and I can't do it alone. I am absolutely dependent on JESUS to guide ever single footstep of my life as I close one of the biggest years of my life, and begin a new season. I am in the process of the end of a thing being better than the beginning, but it doesn't look how I thought. I have more questions than I came here with, I didn't find a dream country I want to do long term in, and unfortunately I am not Mother Theresa….
But my view of the poor has changed, GOD has let me in on HIS heart for our generation, I have known pain, but I have also over come. There are answered questions, and promises that I await to be filled, but I now know GOD will fill them. I am more settled in my heart in a lot of ways, I have more peace, and although I still have a lot of the same struggles I now face them head on immediately, and allow the LORD to fight my battles. I know how to be still, and I know how to run. I know JESUS more, I have seen HIS faithfulness…
And now I am ready to finish strong. Before I didn't have the strength, but now I am reminded that its not my strength in the first place, it's HIS. And with that every worry melts away, as each foot hits the pavement, one in front of the other, in the Race of my life…
Forward
The beautiful thing about the second wind is that you also press on at top performance….
JESUS
The end of a thing, is better than the beginning…
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Fix your gaze…
