Did you know that a sound wave never dies? Nope, never. The wave continues to echo throughout history forever. FOREVER. That means every word ever spoked, even those of JESUS over 2,000 years ago is still alive and in the atmosphere. Now take a second and think of every word you have ever spoken. Impossible I know but if you actually took time to think something significant you spoke came to mind. Was it good? Bad? Positive? Life? Death?
One thing I have been learning about so much here on the race is That there is so much power in words and in the tongue. life and death like the Word states. And every time I have an opportunity to lift up, encourage or speak truth and I don't that is there in the atmosphere.
Luke 6:45… For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Out of the heart….
Let me tell you something. When you are in a situation, especially one where Christ has called you to sacrifice for him, it squeezes your heart, and what is inside comes out. Being on the race, on the missions field, everyday my heart is squeezed. It is squeezed when I have traveled for 40plus hours Over 5 days. When I have slept on floors, and been crowded on busses with 20 plus extra people without seats. I have been pushed to almost every physical limit possible in the past week, and I can honestly say I did not respond in love.
Most times I find myself just getting by. Allowing fatigue to take over I shut down when I am done talking. There were days on bus rides where I could have used the time to share the Gospel with a neighbor and choose my self. My sarcasm, and smart remarks have slipped out when I am days without a shower, and hungry with nothing to eat. There is nothing that will exposed the true posture of the heart faster than Christ pushing you to your "limit". I feel like I have reach mine, and beyond a dozen times already, and it only gets worse.
Today I got checked though. As the true revelation set in that the moments you let slip by where you are too consumed in flesh, and self to operate in the spirit you can't get back. The words you choose to utter not only affect you, but the entire spiritual atmosphere surrounding the journey GOD has me on. The position of my heart is so impure that I'm sick about it. I am so in my flesh sometimes that I want to run and hide. And now it is in the open, exposed for all of my team to see. I can't hide it or run to my own room for refuge, or to silently work it out alone with the LORD, that is not an options here.
So here I am. Being broken every day, my flesh crucified, and my response un-Christlike. Dang.
But then I am reminded of GODs grace, and how even in the missed moments, the bad attitudes He covers that. I have the ability to go to Him, ask for forgiveness, and as a loving Father does, be guided back into His truth, and the way He longs to see me live for Him. I am learning to be a Woman of character. A woman who doesn't just loosely use words, but means and believes them to be true, and understands the power behind them. So every yes, I love you, no, scripture, smart comment, compassionate statement, and word uttered from my mouth will either give Glory to my GOD or my flesh.
And I choose GOD
So as much as it hurts I pray that you LORD continue to expose the position of my heart, so that you can uproot that bad root, and create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit in me. Use my lips to utter your praises, prayers, and truth over my family in the faith. Speak through my mouth to share the Gospel, and draw others to your Love, and salvation. Let my tongue be bridled when in anger, or impatience. And let every Word that I speak for you be in LOVE, grace, strength, virtuosity, patience and very other GODly characteristic you want me to carry.
And I pray that my actions align with my words so that I don't have to take them back when I realize I acted in my emotions, and not the spirit.
In short take me deeper in you, for without you I am nothing. I can't do it in my own strength or good will, I fail every time. Lead me by the Holy spirit….
