What in the world am I doing here…
This is what i thought to my self as I sat on a bus full of missionaries, as we drove deeper and deeper into the heart of India. It had taken us 3 back to back plane rides, and about 45 hours of travel, but we were finally here. As our bus moved alone the dirty, winding roads in the middle of the night I couldnt help but wonder, how I had found myself in this place. How did life lead me here, driving to Andhra, Pradesh India in the middle of the night, on a bus full of young missionaries. Waves of boldness, and excitement would wash over me, followed by felings of loneliness, and fear. In my heart of hearts I know this is where I am supposed to be, but there is somthing that shifted the moment I decided to get on that plane, the moment it all became real, and ministry no longer was a face book status, poster, or list of countries, but real life.
The people of India…
I dont even know where to begin. India Is one of the most beauiful places I have personally ever seen. The color and culture is so rich, and distinct, you cant help but be enthralled. But there is also a spirit of confusion that lingers. A bondage that needs to be broken in order for them to realize that JESUS Christ in the ONE true living GOD, and not to just be put on a shelf with all the other false idols heavily present there. There is also the sad reality that to most here orphans are considered the lowest of the low, and yet special needs orphans still manage to be lower than that.
So of course that is where I would find myself this month. Working at an Orphanage for children with Special needs. There is nothing worse almost than being in the presence of a sick baby, wanting them to be better, and feeling helpless when they suffer. My heart shattered into a million pieces the moment I walked into the door, and realized that these children, most had been thrown away. Thrown away…
Not wanted or unloved by their parents because of the belief that a disabled child means a curse on the family. JESUS…I had to choke back tears for the first 20 minutes of being there. Now, I personally cannot call them abandoned, or the lowest of the low. GOD forsure has NOT abandoned them, and to be honest he must consider them to be pretty high, and priceless to send us around the world to bring them LOVE…But there was a feeling of sadness I could not shake, until I met her…
I had walked into ministry the first day determined to allow GOD to use me to love them with NO LIMITS! I walked straight into the bathroom, and there lying on the floor getting a shower was the most precious little girl I had ever seen. She was shaking the water off, and smiling. Her joints were stiff and I immediatly knew she had early cerebral palsy. Her Aiya (care taker) carried her out of the rest room, and onto one of the beds. I halped her dress the precious little girl named Mality. She smiled the whole time…
I was taken aback…
GOD how is it that this little girl has more joy than I have possibly held in a life time, wrapped in her tiny 4 year old frame? His Response: She Understands that she is MINE! wow what a revelation. Mality belongs to the LORD, and He is her comfort, her strength, and her Life. I believe that she has no clue that she is an orphan, or sick, she just lives, and Christ sustains her.
What if we lived like that?
In such a way that we are not our issues, or our lack but simply children of GOD? JESUS
Along with Mality there is Silpa, and Rada both who had suffered fevers for 2 days straight. We prayed over them, and I am believing GOD for total healing of both girls!
And on top of all of that there are the Aiyas.
The Aiyas work at the orphanage. They are a group of women who give around the clock care to the children. I come to do their job for one month, for them this is a life time. GOD has placed an enormous level of compassion on my heart for them. We prayed for them the first day, and It was one of the most powerful things I had ever seen. Some are not believers, yet they all stood in that circle, and as GOD used us to pray away confusion, false Idols, hurt and pain from them, to speak life, restoration, healing and salvation a few began to cry…
That is the power of GOD, because only one of them speaks english…
JESUS can and will break any language barrier, and salvaion knows no boundaries!
This month will and has been a challenge, I found my self asking one night is it all worth it? Give up house, loved ones, anything comfortable and familiar?
Yes it is…
But not because I love the people, although I do, but its because I love JESUS, and there is nothing I pray in this world that he would ask of me that I would not do. I dont always understand, but it always works our for my good and HIS glory. When I got on that plane I gave it all back. EVERYTHING to the LORD. I said I give it all back to you JESUS, my life, family, possessions, comfortability. You gave it to me for 24 years, and it is time for me to give it back, knowing somwhere in my heart that when it is returned it will be more glorious than ever. JESUS
I am more alive now than I have ever been…
love,
carmella
*** I am still in support raising to stay on the Race. This is where GOD has called me and I fully intend to finish this journey. It is a bit challenging with not being in the states, so if you feel led donate, and or spread the word! The Gospel has to go to the nations. And please keep our children in your prayers, they are so precious***
