The last 5 days in Romania were filled with so much wisdom, growth, tears, laughs, and most importantly fun. We were given the chance to explore the city of Brasov during the day and nights were filled with worship and sessions. Each night taught me more about myself I didn’t know, but the last night there, wrecked my world completely.
As we began worship I knew in my heart tonight was different. Our leaders began to sing “It is Well” and I could feel the Holy Spirit in the room, but it was the next song that really brought the tears. Our leaders then started to sing “Reckless Love” and despite singing this many times before, our mentor Kacie stood up, mid song, and declared that there were people in the room who didn’t believe the words of this song and to take a leap of faith and raise their hand so we could pray over them. As hands went up my heart was overwhelmed with emotion. To see so many faces filled with tears, and so many hurting on the inside broke me in a whole new way. It was in this moment I realized how many times I have questioned Gods love. How many times I have said, “I’m not worthy of His love,” or “how could He love someone as broken as me.” In this moment I realized how much we’re all struggling, how much we’re all hurting, but how much growth we all have in these next months.
After we prayed over these beautiful souls we got the chance to yell out words the Lord gave us for each person. Words like “loved,” “joy,” “warrior,” “worthy,” “forgiven,” “fearless,” “strong,” “light,” just to name a few. It was such a beautiful moment to declare these words over our squad mates and remind them how truly loved they are.
When I thought all the tears were done God reminded me that I was sooooo wrong. As our coach Tim Harrison stood up to give us our last session I just knew that what I was about to hear would be nothing short of amazing. He spoke about Acts 1-2 and how the church began. He told the story of Peter baptizing 3,000 people and how the Holy Spirit came down and created chaos. It was all about how the three circles, intimacy, community, and missionary living, all began with the first church. All work in the way we’re suppose to live our life everyday. No circle can work without the other. It was a sweet reminder that it’s not always easy but it’s worth it in the end to live a life full of intimacy with the Lord, and community with friends and family, and go out and live with a missionary mindset no matter where you are.
He finished his talk with a song that we all definitely needed to hear. It’s called “limp” by Johnathan McReynolds. It reminds us that our walk with God isn’t straight. It isn’t easy. But He loves us despite the limp, He needs us, and wants us, and will use us, despite the limp. We are so loved, more than we will ever know.
(Disclaimer: I also somehow hurt my ankle again so waking with a limp is a real thing right now…. sorry mom)
