I wrote this poem almost exactly 2 years ago. I really wanted to come up with new content for this blog post, something I hadn’t written before, but sometimes, we need reminders. Every line struck home today. My poetry isn’t good by any means, but if you are struggling with believing lies, like I was 2 years ago and like I have been for the last month, maybe read this.
Before getting to the poem, though, I have something to say.
Before getting to the poem, though, I have something to say.
I have been feeling…bad…recently. Hopeless. Joyless. Panicky, anxious, confused. Because I’ve been listening to lies. I’m sure someone else has, too. This is part of the Christian walk. So I would like to invite you to join with me in rising above! Let’s remind ourselves that the Lord will lead us through. He will not forsake us. This particular struggle may not end today, or tomorrow, or next week – it may last for a long time. But at the end of it all is a new, stronger faith – a deeper trust – a better understanding of the gospel – and a kind and caring Father who will never let us go, who hears our prayers, bottles our tears, calms our fears, understands our weaknesses, and will strengthen us until we reach the end. So despite my current feelings and fears, I refuse to give in. I may feel the Lord is far, I may feel like I’m too broken, I may feel like this is never going to end – but the facts don’t care about our feelings, friends! The Lord trains our hands for war. He is our refuge and our rest. Our help is the LORD! The maker of heaven and earth! Like, WHAT?! How amazing is that! The God who created EVERYTHING loves us so much He is here with us, fighting our battles, strengthening us – loves us so much He sent His Son so that we could have His Spirit in us to lead us and encourage us when we feel broken down. As the day comes to a close, let’s cast our cares on Him. Tomorrow, we may be thrown into the fire again. But the fire is nothing compared to Christ. The Lord uses the fire as a tool to mold us. So let’s trust in Him who renews our strength, who promises we will walk and not grow weary – run and not faint. Let’s trust in Him who promises that our struggling and striving will pay off in the end. And let’s remember that good things take time. Let’s be patient. Have grace for yourself. The Lord upholds us. No darkness can destroy His light. No lie can destroy His truth. No sin is past His grace. His love is greater than whatever we are facing.
As Mary Shelley said, “Oh! Be men, or be more than men. Be steady to your purposes and firm as a rock. This ice is not made of such stuff as your hearts may be; it is mutable and cannot withstand you if you say that it shall not. Do not return to your families with the stigma of disgrace marked on your brows. Return as heroes who have fought and conquered, and who know not what it is to turn their backs on the foe.”
Even Beasts Run Screaming
This nausea working in your gut
It’s sickness caused by your own sin
Your throat is burning –
Familiar sensation;
You’ve been here before
Haven’t
You?
Lean on yourself
Weakness trusting weakness
What kind of fool
Makes a plan
Like
That?
You’ve got your snow-capped knuckles
And bloody fingers
From holding on to your own pride
But you’ve got something else
Why don’t you say it?
It’s just one Word
Are your lips stitched together
With thread you’ve spun to prove how good you are
And how much you’ve earned?
Self-reliance is a liability
You think you’re brave?
You won’t even admit your hands are aching!
You don’t have
The faith
To just
Let
Go
Look, you’re a thousand miles high,
And you’re stuck now
With your dangling legs
And half-baked salvation plans
(Save yourself save yourself save yourself!)
You’re too afraid to move now;
Your arms are shaking
And you’re
Losing
Grip
STOP STOP STOP
JUST
LOOK
UP
You see?
This precarious situation is your opportunity
But you’re still digging broken hands into a mountainside,
Scaling these cliffs on your own,
Ignoring the Hand
Reaching out to
Save
You
Salvation is a big job
For someone small as you
Even Atlas didn’t carry
A burden this heavy:
Stop holding it
Or your back
Will
Break
Why do you keep thinking
Love cannot reach you?
Did you forget Paul?
Did you forget that God can
Turn even water
Into
Steel?
But even steel must be tempered
Before it is ready for battle!
Are you so deaf
So dumb, so blind
To ignore the good work
Being done
In
You?
Take heart,
Dear heart!
Yes, it hurts to put
Your hands into the fire
But I would rather burn
For a good Purpose
Than be a stone,
Unmoving and
Ice
Cold
Perched on a rock beside you,
A prowling lion growls in your ear,
“Are you loved? Are you saved?”
It only takes one word to ruin him
Look, don’t you see?
Even now the rock below him is crumbling!
Take your eyes off his bloody teeth!
He has lost!
He is
Already
Defeated!
There is a Sword
Which has brought victory
And which will again and again
And again!
But you’re too caught up
In your own strength,
Too afraid of the lion’s claws
To make a move
(Just pick
It
Up!)
The lion roars,
“Do it on your own
Do it by yourself!
Weak creature!
You will not be good enough
You cannot be loved
Until you’ve killed me
With your own
Two
Hands!”
Lies pack a hell of a punch
But they are weak when
Your knees hit
The ground and
You
Pray:
“Yahweh,
Forgive me
For believing a lion
Who wants to
Turn You into
A
Liar
“Heart of my heart
You loved me before I even knew You;
You are not afraid of
Any of my
Dark
Parts
“You are the Lord:
Caretaker, Shepherd, Father.
You fashioned the stars
The ocean roars for You
Storms scream out Your glory
The world turns because
You tell
It
To!
“The One who
Tells lightning where to strike
Holds me up
In
Battle
“Lord, teach me to need you more
Not my will
But Yours!
Suffering as Your Son suffered
What an
Immeasurable
Honor!
“My hands are scarred
From how many times You’ve broken them
For my own good
I take up Your sword
You make even lions tremble
You make even beasts
Run
Screaming!
“To You be the glory!
You’ve saved my soul
And draw me near
I know warriors train for war:
No one can learn
Who is not disciplined
Hallelujah! I am being prepared
Affliction is
A
Blessing
“Hallelujah! Death is done!
Rejoice, my soul!
The Lord holds me in his heart
Love unending!
What a perfect God
Who sent His Son
Whose blood covers me
He will never let me go
Abba, Father!
I am a child
Of
God!”
The lion roars again –
You cry,
You cry,
“Lord, strengthen me!” –
For nothing you can do will save you now:
With His strength alone,
Your soul
Roars
Back
And
The lion flees
In
Terror
You rest now on an outcropping
On this bluff
That stretches higher than you can see
It is measured in the years
Of your entire life
(You won’t stop climbing
Until you’re dead)
You will face the lion again
But every new battle is a lesson
Pray next time you will remember
The Sword in your hand
And the armor over your body
And the God
Who
Saves
Hallelujah!
It
Is
Finished
1 Peter 5:6-11, ESVHumble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
