Lets talk about a few things that are intimidating for a minute………
Meeting 54 strangers that you will be with 24/7 for the next year of your life, all in one day
10 nights in a cold tent
Eating crickets and other questionable food groups
Being stretched spiritually and physically
Letting all your mask fall and for the first time in a long time being completely vulnerable
It’s been over a week since Training Camp ended and I’ve been staring at a blank screen for the last few days. Trying to blog is another thing I would consider intimidating. It can be hard to find exactly the right words to explain something so beautiful. I feel like I’ve been pulled apart piece by piece, cared for, healed, been made new and then lovingly reconstructed by my Papa. To sum it all up: it was everything I needed.
He reveal so many things to me those 11 days
Many things I thought I had dealt with, were brought back up and I heard Him whisper many times ” You’re still holding on, give it to Me.”
I learned I was still in the process grieving things from years ago and didn’t even realize it.
In a room full of young people I witnessed a hunger for the Lord unlike anything I had ever experienced.
He set my heart free in worship to sing and dance like a fool.
I brought things to the light that had never left the shadows and was able to finally embrace the grace God had for me.
I had beautiful words from The Spirit spoken over me.
He revealed more of my identity in Him. He gave me confidences in a gentle quiet spirit, but set me free to SPEAK!
I was entrusted with a new family. He handpicked each new brother and sister and brought us together to glorify Him. I got to see their hearts and the beauty inside each one.
I realized I had let the lies from the enemy have power over me for far too long. Daily I was letting these untruths and fears rule in my heart and had convinced myself that they were true. I learned how just simply speaking life: I am a child of God, I am loved, I am worthy, over yourself can make those lies fall apart.
The Lord knew what my heart had been craving. He knew what I needed to hear. He knew I would join Him there in worship. He knew I would finally surrender those long kept hurts. He knew I would lay it all down that night. He knew before it all happened and orchestrated it that way from the very beginning. He long pursued my heart and prepared me for it all. Just the thought of that can bring me to my knees. Although, those things where hard and intimidating, I’m glad He did it. I am so happy that He dug up, drug out, and broke open the hard places and as I sat here praying about what to write, I asked the Lord for a truth and His answer simply was: you are a daughter of the Star Breather. After my time in GA God has renewed my mind and written my heart full of His truths. My identity had been solidified in Him. I am a daughter of the Star Breather.
“so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life….” Philippians 2:15
(photo cred goes to Faith)
There are many many more things I could say about training camp and all that happened there and this is only really scratching the surface of what God did. Feel free to ask me more about it as I’d love to share more stories with you. I also realize this post is a little all over the place, but if I’m honest this is the reality of training camp and how I’m processing it all. The Lord has overflowed my heart with joy for this next season. With only 2 months until launch I wanted to once again thank all of you for all you’ve done to get me this far! Each one of you has played a beautiful part in this incredible journey. Carlyn
