in six months, i leave for the World Race
in six months, i leave behind comfort, i leave behind my best friends, i leave behind the things I know
in six months, i gain 55 friends who surely will become family
in six months, i start the journey of what will be both the best and hardest year of my life
in six months, everything will change, but how do i live for right now, instead of focusing six months ahead?
have you ever really thought about how much change happens in one month, let alone six?
i’ve been committed to the World Race for a little over a month now, and my how much change has happened in that time. there has been heartaches and celebrations, joys and challenges, happiness and sadness. it’s been absolutely insane, but i know that the Lord is only preparing my heart for the many months ahead.
but how do you stay present where you are, when the world is your oyster just waiting for you to fill your backpack full of everything you need for a year of living and cross borders into unknown territories?
i am one month deep into my last semester of college, which means I will graduate college in 3 months (read: how the heck did I get here??? i swear just yesterday i sat in the wrong classroom and got dropped from my english class because i missed the first day attendance policy). this place and these people have become my home, my safe place, and my comfort. how do i focus on loving them well, and finding rest in my last semester here, when i know the future is full of the craziest things (i.e. leaving home for a year, doing missions in 11 foreign countries, having 55 new best friends, you get the gist.)?
here’s the real truth: it has been hard. i’ve never been good at balancing, my mom always tells me i throw myself into things wholeheartedly, which i wouldn’t consider a bad thing, but how do i take myself out living in the future and throw myself back into the present, where i am willing to live fully?
my to-do list is growing and seems like it should be making me feel incredibly anxious (read: to-do lists are my cup of tea, but crossing things off my to-do list is my greatest joy), yet I find myself having to say that i am literally doing the best i can. and sometimes, it takes the reminder that i am only human and i can only do so much on my own.
but maybe that’s the point after all? maybe the Lord is teaching me to be fully dependent on him now because that’s the only way we will survive for 11 months, let alone for the rest of our lives. how do we do ministry with language barriers? how do we love well when we can’t understand the circumstances? how do we communicate when we are exhausted, worn out, and wanting to go home? we most certainly can’t do it by ourselves, so why do we constantly try?
honestly, senior year has been the best yet. it has been full of life and love and I know it’s because I am living with the truth that i am rooted in the Creator of the Universe. because i know He calls me worthy, He calls me His beloved and He has given me grace upon grace.
it is my prayer that I would continue to surround myself with people who love me so well and who challenge me to live a life worthy of the calling to which i have been called.
six months may fly by, but i hope to cherish every single one of those days and to live them well.
“give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes” matthew 6:34 (the message)
the future may be sweet, but living in the present is so much sweeter.
so much love,
carly
