New round! I know this is long, but these are seriously great questions. Thanks again to everyone who asked them… it’s been so, so good for me to think about these things specifically.
What comments have you heard about President Obama?
Not many, actually. His name was plastered on everything in Africa and every other person claimed to be related to him, but there were very few statements about his policies or leadership specifically. Then again, we were generally discouraged from engaging in political conversations since they are rarely effective in establishing relationships. That was made clear one night in Moldova when a former Communist Party member had some very rude, pointed questions about the state of our country’s welfare system… fun.
What is the most surprising thing God showed you out of this past year? About yourself, the world, God Himself or whatever?
One of the coolest, most surprising things that God showed me about Himself was the level of His sovereignty and His attention to detail. He seriously cares and orchestrates everything. The divine appointments He set up were absolutely incredible. The ways in which God calls different people into and out of seasons of leadership, team assignments, ministry assignments… He’s just unreal. There have been two times this year when my team needed to change ministry locations; the first was in Thailand and the second was here in Malaysia, and both of these months stand out as the most specifically niche ministry months ever. We literally met people all over the world with connections to our families and churches at home… those things are simply not coincidences. It’s really unbelievable.
The most surprising thing that I learned about myself was how much I really, really love leading, especially women. I’ve always sort of ended up in leadership roles because I’m loud and outgoing, but it seriously caught me off guard at training camp when I was asked to step into my role as a team leader from day one. I remember frantically calling my mom and being like, “Mom…they asked me to be a team leader!!!” and I was way more freaked out and confused than excited, but my mom just goes, “Right. And?” God showed me that leadership is really just servanthood – as in, you lead by serving your people. I certainly did not always live up to that standard, but I was surprised to see how much I wanted to, how fiercely and deeply I loved my women and wanted to see them grow and excel. I wanted to protect them and foster a family-like environment and protect them from, oh I don’t know, miscommunication or unnecessary stress or whatever. It was all very Mama Bear of me… very unexpected, but very cool.
In what country(ies) did you have the most difficult time communicating?
No one country stands out as being exceptionally more difficult than others – they all had their ups and downs. Nobody in Moldova spoke English, but we still found ways to communicate with the kids. Trying to tell rickshaw drivers how to get us home in India was a nightmare. The single most frustrating incident happened in Vietnam; my team visited a drug and alcohol rehab center and they wanted a testimony. I had made friends with an American woman earlier in the week that has a very powerful testimony about the saving power of God in regards to substance abuse and she wanted to come along and share, which was awesome. We did not have the translation we needed, though, so her testimony got boiled down to – literally – “I used to do drugs. But then I met Jesus. And He saved me.” Which, obviously, can and will still be used for God’s purposes… but the process of trying to get even that much translated correctly was incredibly, incredibly frustrating.
I want to know the one thing (or one of potentially many things) that made you say/think: "This is the last place I expected to find this…"
Double Stuffed Oreos in Uganda and readily available Diet Coke across the street from our location in Bangalore, India. Absolutely. Proof that Jesus loves me.
This may sound weird and I don’t want to hyper spiritualize anything, but Rhianna’s song “We Found Love” was literally everywhere in Africa. I will never hear that song without thinking about Africa. And I kind of love what that means to me – “We found love in a hopeless place”?? That was my experience of Africa. So, I would say that finding a.) Rhianna’s Top 40 stuff in Africa and b.) love in a hopeless place was very unexpected and pleasant.
Also, games like Jenga and Connect 4 in the bars in Chiang Mai. I mean, most of the men who frequent them are there for alcohol and sex, so… Connect 4? Not sure how that fits into the picture.
What is something you missed from home (USA) that surprised you and what was something you thought you would miss but didn't??
I was surprised at how much I missed having coffee with French Vanilla cream every day… I didn’t know I was such an addict! I was also surprised at how much I missed things like my favorite movie theater [pathetic, I know], broccoli, the textures of different surfaces in my house, cooking, texting, and specific items of makeup [Makeup Forever HD Microfinish Powder, I’m coming for youuuuu!!!] and my perfume.
I missed my job from school a lot, too, which is totally nerdy of me. Most of my teammates have had to endure lengthy monologues about the importance of writing centers on university campuses, the appropriate role of a consultant, and different approaches… these women are good to me.
Despite that, I did not miss Grand Valley as much as I expected to. I handled my separation anxiety from Qdoba better than I thought I would. I did not miss and crave space and privacy the same way that some of my friends did – it was tough, but not unbearable most of the time. And the Christmas season was really difficult, but to be honest, the actual day was really anticlimactic. It never felt like Christmas, so the actual holiday was much more doable than I expected.
What is one thing that God has taught you over the past 11 months you never want to forget?
Just one? I never, ever want to forget God’s hearts for our dreams in favor of something more “practical” or “realistic.” I’m beginning to reject the notion of a “calling,” because it conjures up an exclusive understanding of how Jesus works. People are either “called” to ministry, or they’re not. They’re either “called” to a vocation, or else they’re missing their purpose and their lives are always incrementally worse for having missed that pivotal moment where they didn’t answer the phone to receive God’s calling for their lives.
Even as someone who probably could have claimed a “calling” a long time ago, I really hate that idea. I now understand that our God is creative, abundant, and a dreamer – He simply does not give His children dreams that He does not desire to fulfill and surpass, all to His glory. And He doesn’t set us up with two options, A and B, and have some secret plan that we could potentially miss out on if we misstep. He is way too big to be relegated to some kind of linear understanding like that. I believe that our dreams are a gift from a wildly artistic God, and that is He is far, far too good to give me a desire to write books and work with young women and plant a church, only to snatch it all away and stick me behind a desk for the rest of my life and say, “Deal with it, it will make you stronger.” He’s good and He gives good gifts.
I never, ever, ever want to lose this understanding of His character.
Of all the countries you visited, which one captured your heart the most? Why?
I mean, Thailand, of course. If you’ve been here for more than five minutes, you know that I’m pretty obsessed with Thailand. And I really loved Cambodia, but I might be the only person on A-Squad to feel that way…
However, I think that Nepal is getting seriously underrepresented with these questions and that remains one of my absolute favorite places – in the world. Asia as a whole has been a joy for me, but Nepal was simply special. I’ve never met a person who has been there and not fallen in love. I can’t quite explain it, except to say that God is really present there, despite the prevalence of Buddhism and idolatry. I fell in love with the Meg, Bim, and Subash and the Nepalese people and the countryside are just stunning. I love Nepal.
What was your biggest "God" moment?
I mean… I don’t think I could possibly pinpoint one. It was an unbelievable year serving a God who is too good to be true – and yet He is. That makes for some pretty insane encounters with Him and His power.
What did you draw strength from when you were feeling weak?
Is it too Sunday School of me to say Jesus? Basically, Jesus and my prayer journal and the Bible were the only things that would consistently fill me up, but He used other ways to encourage me. Skype conversations, emails and blog comments from loved ones at home massively encouraged me – or better yet, hearing from strangers who stumbled on my blog or were thinking about the World Race was awesome, because it reminded me that even though I’m the one who gets to experience all of this and grow in these ways, it’s still not about me. Also, I’ve made some absolutely amazing, incredible friends out here that always helped me when I felt like I was done. I would not have made it without them, for a million reasons.
Consequently, zoning out with my computer, the internet, and/or full seasons of TV shows on my hard drive rarely, if ever, helped. Weird.
Teamwork was obviously a vital part of your ministry. What part, positive and negative, did it play in your view of effective ministry?
I’ll start by saying that there were plenty of days where my team was less than what Jesus wanted us to be for whatever reason, but He was always, always faithful to work in spite of us. So. That’s good news.
However, when my team was truly unified and loving and serving each other, we were totally contagious. We had joy and everyone around us could see it. People would literally flock to us and come to wherever we were living and not leave. And I think that’s real ministry – the home visits and preaching and prayers were all massively important, of course, but I believe that real ministry happens in homes, around tables, on couches… but it took teamwork and selflessness to make that effective.
Strictly from observing contacts, I can say pretty much the same thing. Churches with rich, connected communities were a joy to be a part of, whereas ministries with disjointed communication and unclear expectations [of the members and of my team] really drained me physically and spiritually.
Really, I don’t think enough can be said for teamwork and community and lifestyle as a way of ministry – that’s how Jesus did it. He was always hanging out with people and lounging on couches and eating [presumably good] food with his friends. We weren’t made to do life by ourselves, and I believe that that includes fostering a rich, effective lifestyle of ministry in community.
I can guess there are a hundred things you are looking forward to when you get home. My question however, is what do you fear the most about your return?
This is by far the easiest question to answer, because it has been keeping me up at night lately. Literally. I’ve stopped sleeping. It’s kind of a problem.
My biggest fear, hands down, is backsliding and waking up in a couple of months and having this whole World Race fiasco seem like a dream. I’m terrified that I’ll see my pack in my closet one day and not remember the things I experienced and the woman I became while I carried it around the world. I’m scared that reentry will be too hard, so instead of resting and experiencing the difficulties with Jesus, I’ll just shrug and revert back to old ways, forcing myself into the Carly that people used to know for the sake of belonging. I’m scared to death of getting comfortable and complacent and missing out on the adventures that God has for me right at home and in whatever the next season brings. And I’m scared of accidentally getting preachy and becoming un-relatable, of looking down on people who have not seen and experienced what I had the privilege of living. “Oh, well in Ugaaaanda, they don’t even have microwaves” or “Back in Nepaaaaaal, people didn’t even know about Jesus.” [For some reason, Pretentious Carly drags out the names of countries]
These fears are real and, given my history of behavior, likely struggles. I’m just trying to take it day by day… first here in Malaysia, then back in Kalamazoo, then eventually in Grand Rapids. God is everywhere, which is so basic and elementary it almost hurts to say it. But God is everywhere. No matter where I go, I’m going to flourish in His will for my life, because He promises never to leave me or forsake me.
What was your number one struggle, difficulty, problem that you encountered and how do you think it affected your relationship with Christ?
This year has been challenging on a lot of levels… there have been physical challenges, cultural challenges, problems that arise when working with flawed humans in ministry settings and then living in very close community with the same team 24/7. On a more global note, it was very hard to see the massive injustices around the world and try to build relationships with people who are victimized by it, only to have to leave soon after, hoping and praying for God’s will to be accomplished in those places.
However, the biggest struggles that I faced this year were the things that God was purifying out of me. Specifically, the concept of process has been hard. Accepting the fact that I am going to be in the midst of a refining process for the rest of my life is really difficult; I would like to be perfected and then move on with my life, thank you very much. I don’t want to struggle with relationships or being a good steward of my money or pride anymore… I feel like I should be beyond that at this point [Haaaaahahaha]. But it has had a beautiful effect on my relationship with Christ. It forces – nicely, but forces nonetheless – an intimate understanding of His heart for His children, which has built a new level of trust for me.
You know how some people feel like they need to work out and lose weight before they join a gym? That’s sort of how I’ve approached my faith for most of my life. I feel like once I get to a certain place, it won’t be as mortifying to go to God with the rest of me. But that’s just not the way it works… not even a little bit. So to accept the process, to admit that I cannot do it on my own and accepting that that is the whole point has been hard, but really, really good. And now I have to/get to trust Him with all of me. When you stand bare in front of God and just sort of say, “Well. This is it. Sorry…” you get to experience His love and affection in new ways. To walk away with just a shred of this understanding and the trust that comes as a fruit of intimacy with Jesus… it is so, so worth that cringe-worthy moment of really, truly allowing Him into the grossest parts of who I am.
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I will be home sweet home in – count them – EIGHTEEN DAYS and I am so, so excited to sit down and share these things with my friends and family. Less than three weeks… it’s insane. I cannot wait to see you all!!
Cheer to a God who loves big finishes!!!
