Written Friday, 25 November, 2011
At first, I thought I was going to get in trouble — a group
of Americans can’t just walk in on a temple full of Buddhist nuns going through
their afternoon worship, can we?? I
skirt the wall silently, trying to be small and not interrupt. Many turn and stare at our group, but once we
sit down, they quickly go back to their prayers.
The smell of incense is thick in this room and for one of
the first times since I’ve come to Nepal, I can’t hear roosters and motorcycles
and loud street chatter; the only sounds come from the mouths of these Buddhist
nuns chanting in worship. It is eerily
beautiful – the way that their voices blend and dip and rise as one in Nepalese
transfixes me. One person clangs a bell
in rhythm with the verses and everyone sways as they pray. There are crescendos and line breaks and
although the whole thing is completely foreign and strangely unnerving, I cannot
tear my eyes away.
the first times since I’ve come to Nepal, I can’t hear roosters and motorcycles
and loud street chatter; the only sounds come from the mouths of these Buddhist
nuns chanting in worship. It is eerily
beautiful – the way that their voices blend and dip and rise as one in Nepalese
transfixes me. One person clangs a bell
in rhythm with the verses and everyone sways as they pray. There are crescendos and line breaks and
although the whole thing is completely foreign and strangely unnerving, I cannot
tear my eyes away.
And then all at once, it stops. The nuns fold their outer robes, get up, and
walk out of the ornate temple. My team
and I follow them out and try to speak with some of them. The younger ones run away. Many are no older than fourteen or fifteen
years old, and I’m pretty sure we terrify them.
A few of the grown women will speak with us, albeit hesitantly. We get to ask some questions and tell them
about what we believe…they listen politely, but our presence seems to make them
nervous.
walk out of the ornate temple. My team
and I follow them out and try to speak with some of them. The younger ones run away. Many are no older than fourteen or fifteen
years old, and I’m pretty sure we terrify them.
A few of the grown women will speak with us, albeit hesitantly. We get to ask some questions and tell them
about what we believe…they listen politely, but our presence seems to make them
nervous.
As I sat in that ornate temple today watching the young, young nuns sway and chant in unison, my
heart broke. These women have to muster so much faith to believe that their god
hears them. I mean, I’ve been there
before — we all have, haven’t we?
Standing in church, armed raised in praise, outwardly caught up in
worship…but inside? Nothing. Nothing but a distant, hollow feeling and a
few questions about if this God who I claim to love can even hear me.
heart broke. These women have to muster so much faith to believe that their god
hears them. I mean, I’ve been there
before — we all have, haven’t we?
Standing in church, armed raised in praise, outwardly caught up in
worship…but inside? Nothing. Nothing but a distant, hollow feeling and a
few questions about if this God who I claim to love can even hear me.
For children of God, though, this feeling is this exception
rather than the rule. We have confidence
in the fact that our God can and does hear
His children, regardless of how we feel in a given day. Can you imagine not being able to say that,
though? Can you imagine fighting for
your faith with every fiber in your body every single day? Can you imagine putting your faith, your
life, your eternity in the hands of a lifeless god in a glass case? Can you imagine the fear of karma and the
next life in your endless cycle of reincarnation? Every mistake you make, every wrong thing you
do — all being tallied on some spiritual bulletin board.
rather than the rule. We have confidence
in the fact that our God can and does hear
His children, regardless of how we feel in a given day. Can you imagine not being able to say that,
though? Can you imagine fighting for
your faith with every fiber in your body every single day? Can you imagine putting your faith, your
life, your eternity in the hands of a lifeless god in a glass case? Can you imagine the fear of karma and the
next life in your endless cycle of reincarnation? Every mistake you make, every wrong thing you
do — all being tallied on some spiritual bulletin board.
I got to ask a couple of the women about that when we were
talking to them. Do you ever feel
peace? Are you afraid when you do
something wrong? Does your god speak to you?
talking to them. Do you ever feel
peace? Are you afraid when you do
something wrong? Does your god speak to you?
Their answers were heart breaking. One woman, Bhema, shook her head sadly at the
question of peace. “No, no I don’t feel
peace,� she said. Was she afraid when
she did something wrong? She laughed a
little bit. “Oh yes,� she said. “Of course I am.� I don’t even know if she fully understood
what we meant when we asked her if her god spoke to her. “No…no, he doesn’t speak to us like
that. Maybe to some of the higher nuns,
he does…but I’ve never heard of that.�
question of peace. “No, no I don’t feel
peace,� she said. Was she afraid when
she did something wrong? She laughed a
little bit. “Oh yes,� she said. “Of course I am.� I don’t even know if she fully understood
what we meant when we asked her if her god spoke to her. “No…no, he doesn’t speak to us like
that. Maybe to some of the higher nuns,
he does…but I’ve never heard of that.�
This is the time of year where God’s peace is highlighted in
America — our Prince of Peace came here as a baby to bring peace on earth, good
will to all…but who even thinks about how much that word means? Peace is a benefit that God offers His
children freely. We don’t have to
fretter our lives away in tradition or rigid steps to move towards
enlightenment — we are constantly offered peace and grace and our only job is
to accept those gifts.
America — our Prince of Peace came here as a baby to bring peace on earth, good
will to all…but who even thinks about how much that word means? Peace is a benefit that God offers His
children freely. We don’t have to
fretter our lives away in tradition or rigid steps to move towards
enlightenment — we are constantly offered peace and grace and our only job is
to accept those gifts.
God has been teaching me a lot about grace and peace on this
adventure; there is no end to what He wants to say about those two topics. My prayer is that He continues to take me —
and you — deeper into His heart and presence, because that is where His peace
lives…and that is exactly where He wants His children to be.
adventure; there is no end to what He wants to say about those two topics. My prayer is that He continues to take me —
and you — deeper into His heart and presence, because that is where His peace
lives…and that is exactly where He wants His children to be.
Pray for the women that I met yesterday, these beautiful
women who have left their families, their individuality, their futures in
pursuit of a false god. Pray that Jesus
stirs their hearts and whispers that there is more to life that they are
missing. Pray that they come to know
Christ’s overwhelming grace and peace in a way that they cannot deny and cannot
help but to share with those around them. Pray that their incredible faith shifts from
something man-made and eerie to the one true God, who lives and reigns
forevermore.
women who have left their families, their individuality, their futures in
pursuit of a false god. Pray that Jesus
stirs their hearts and whispers that there is more to life that they are
missing. Pray that they come to know
Christ’s overwhelming grace and peace in a way that they cannot deny and cannot
help but to share with those around them. Pray that their incredible faith shifts from
something man-made and eerie to the one true God, who lives and reigns
forevermore.
