Crowing roosters
Crying babies
Clanging pots and pans
Sudden shrieks of laughter
Swarming black flies
Surround-sound slurping tea
I did it. I got there – I hit the breaking point. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I woke up one morning last week so
irritable that I’m surprised I didn’t just spontaneously combust. Every little noise, every sidelong glance,
every accidental bump against my arm or gnat on my bread pushed me a little bit
closer to the edge. Amanda, who knows me
inside and out at this point, sat down on the couch next to me.
irritable that I’m surprised I didn’t just spontaneously combust. Every little noise, every sidelong glance,
every accidental bump against my arm or gnat on my bread pushed me a little bit
closer to the edge. Amanda, who knows me
inside and out at this point, sat down on the couch next to me.
“What’s
wrong?” she asked.
wrong?” she asked.
“I’m just
so annoyed at everything that I want
to scream for twenty years,” I replied through clenched teeth.
so annoyed at everything that I want
to scream for twenty years,” I replied through clenched teeth.
“Ohh…” she
said gingerly. “Do you want to take the
morning off?”
said gingerly. “Do you want to take the
morning off?”
“Nope,” I
said. “I just want to get out of here
and get out of my own head.” Sweet
Elizabeth sat down on my other side as I said this.
said. “I just want to get out of here
and get out of my own head.” Sweet
Elizabeth sat down on my other side as I said this.
“What’s
wrong?” she asked me sympathetically, her eyes wide with concern.
wrong?” she asked me sympathetically, her eyes wide with concern.
“NOTHING!”
I snapped.
I snapped.
In my mind, I knew that I was acting
out of my flesh. I knew that I was stuck
in the spin-cycle of my own rotten attitude and that I needed to choose joy, to
choose patience, to choose love – but I didn’t really know how to do that. I fully believe in the power of the spoken
word, but I couldn’t just convince myself to be a vessel of joy or love in my
own strength. However, something I heard
in a podcast recently was lodged in my brain and I sensed the way out: when you
need something, give what you have away.
So if you need grace, show grace to someone near you. If you need healing, pray healing over
someone else. In my case, I needed joy
and the only thing I could think to do to get it was to give someone else a
reason to have it.
out of my flesh. I knew that I was stuck
in the spin-cycle of my own rotten attitude and that I needed to choose joy, to
choose patience, to choose love – but I didn’t really know how to do that. I fully believe in the power of the spoken
word, but I couldn’t just convince myself to be a vessel of joy or love in my
own strength. However, something I heard
in a podcast recently was lodged in my brain and I sensed the way out: when you
need something, give what you have away.
So if you need grace, show grace to someone near you. If you need healing, pray healing over
someone else. In my case, I needed joy
and the only thing I could think to do to get it was to give someone else a
reason to have it.
So we all
set out that morning and as we sat down with some locals, I talked about the
transforming power of Christ, of His hope and joy – and I didn’t speak from any
glowy, melty place of emotion. I had to
speak in faith, knowing the truth even if I didn’t feel it. And after a few of us shared pieces of our
stories, a young man named Marius gave his life to Jesus.
set out that morning and as we sat down with some locals, I talked about the
transforming power of Christ, of His hope and joy – and I didn’t speak from any
glowy, melty place of emotion. I had to
speak in faith, knowing the truth even if I didn’t feel it. And after a few of us shared pieces of our
stories, a young man named Marius gave his life to Jesus.
When we
walk in obedience and speak in faith, God can pour His joy into His people –
and that joy leads to love and peace and unity.
These things transform lives and they attract people to Jesus.
walk in obedience and speak in faith, God can pour His joy into His people –
and that joy leads to love and peace and unity.
These things transform lives and they attract people to Jesus.
My team has
experienced that first hand this month.
We have been together for four months now and our time has been
hard. In India, we barely interacted,
choosing to mix with our squadmates and YWAM staff instead. In Tanzania we were forced into hot, cramped
quarters with no one to talk to but each other.
There was a lot of friction and division, leading to one of the biggest
fights that I have ever been a part of – there was screaming and swearing and
people [myself included] stomped out of the room, only to be dragged back in to
deal with the issues. Tension simmered
and things looked pretty grim; I spent most of the month in my tent, sick and
begging God for team changes. No such
luck. We lived with a family in Rwanda,
so we were forced to be polite and play nice.
Things improved slowly, but an underlying tension was still there. But then something happened – we started laughing
together and God moved through those baby steps forward and the more grace we
gave one another, the more grace we had as a team.
experienced that first hand this month.
We have been together for four months now and our time has been
hard. In India, we barely interacted,
choosing to mix with our squadmates and YWAM staff instead. In Tanzania we were forced into hot, cramped
quarters with no one to talk to but each other.
There was a lot of friction and division, leading to one of the biggest
fights that I have ever been a part of – there was screaming and swearing and
people [myself included] stomped out of the room, only to be dragged back in to
deal with the issues. Tension simmered
and things looked pretty grim; I spent most of the month in my tent, sick and
begging God for team changes. No such
luck. We lived with a family in Rwanda,
so we were forced to be polite and play nice.
Things improved slowly, but an underlying tension was still there. But then something happened – we started laughing
together and God moved through those baby steps forward and the more grace we
gave one another, the more grace we had as a team.
Then we got
here. I don’t know when it happened or
how it came about, but the seven of us love
each other – we genuinely enjoy being together. We live in a house with no electricity or
running water, an absolutely vile outhouse, and crying babies that seem to
multiply every day, but we finally found a team identity, and it is rooted in
the restorative power of joy and laughter.
here. I don’t know when it happened or
how it came about, but the seven of us love
each other – we genuinely enjoy being together. We live in a house with no electricity or
running water, an absolutely vile outhouse, and crying babies that seem to
multiply every day, but we finally found a team identity, and it is rooted in
the restorative power of joy and laughter.
The beauty
of that identity is that it is contagious.
We met a woman named Esther, the manager at a breezy restaurant where we
hang out. After talking with her for a
few minutes, she asked us to come back and stay with her at the restaurant
during any and all of our free time.
“You can sleep here if you
want,” she insisted. Another woman,
Mariana, came to our house during a thunderstorm and watched as cabin fever
culminated in a karaoke-style dance party and a group shower in the
downpour. As we screamed and sang and washed
our hair under the gutters and did the YMCA, she shook her head. “I’ve never met women like you,” she
said. “It’s like you’re sisters – I
never want to leave. I want to stay with
you and sleep with you and eat with you… I want this.“
of that identity is that it is contagious.
We met a woman named Esther, the manager at a breezy restaurant where we
hang out. After talking with her for a
few minutes, she asked us to come back and stay with her at the restaurant
during any and all of our free time.
“You can sleep here if you
want,” she insisted. Another woman,
Mariana, came to our house during a thunderstorm and watched as cabin fever
culminated in a karaoke-style dance party and a group shower in the
downpour. As we screamed and sang and washed
our hair under the gutters and did the YMCA, she shook her head. “I’ve never met women like you,” she
said. “It’s like you’re sisters – I
never want to leave. I want to stay with
you and sleep with you and eat with you… I want this.“
I don’t say
any of this to impress anyone; to be honest, I’m embarrassed by much of what
I’ve written. But the fact is that the
joy of the Lord is one of the most powerful healing agents in the world. Proverbs says that a cheerful heart is good
medicine, and I believe that is true for the body and the soul. Joy has bound
this team together in a way that I wouldn’t have believed possible four months
ago and we are finally effective because of it.
Arguments and logic will rarely lead a person to Jesus, but an encounter
with true joy and community is intoxicating.
any of this to impress anyone; to be honest, I’m embarrassed by much of what
I’ve written. But the fact is that the
joy of the Lord is one of the most powerful healing agents in the world. Proverbs says that a cheerful heart is good
medicine, and I believe that is true for the body and the soul. Joy has bound
this team together in a way that I wouldn’t have believed possible four months
ago and we are finally effective because of it.
Arguments and logic will rarely lead a person to Jesus, but an encounter
with true joy and community is intoxicating.
So drink
deeply of what God has for you and then pass the glass – for this is the true
Kingdom of God.
deeply of what God has for you and then pass the glass – for this is the true
Kingdom of God.
