Easy To Love, Part I

The truth is that we had no idea where we were going.  As Brittany and I wandered up and down the
main road of the bar district in Chiang Mai, we didn’t speak very much; we
walked past dozens and dozens of bars, drinking in the details in relative
silence.  Is it this one, God? I quietly prayed.  Is this
why You brought us here?

We had been sent out on our first night of ministry with one
simple and confounding direction: See where the Spirit leads.  Walk, pray, and see what stands out.  Ask Him to reveal something — anything.  A particular girl, a word, an image… find the
bars where you will spend your time this month. 
Just go. 

 

It seemed a bit daunting, but out we went.  As we walked past the bars, many of which
seemed interchangeable, I didn’t really sense much.  My pulse didn’t race, I didn’t feel drawn to
any one in particular, no heat spread through my limbs — we just walked and
looked around.  Finally, we neared the
end of the strip and one of the signs stuck out: The When*.  I didn’t fully trust my inclinations; it was
getting late and I was running out of bars to choose from… but when Brit and I
talked about it later that was one of the only things that I could think of to
say. 

 

When we mentioned the When to people who had been around the
ministry a bit longer, they nodded seriously. 
“It’s a tough bar,â€� they said.  “Lots
of spiritual warfare and darkness.  Pim*,
the owner, is pretty hard… she’s an absolutely devout Buddhist.â€�  The program coordinator, a gorgeous young
woman from New York City, had had a few run-ins with Pim that made me think
twice about this so-called “pullâ€� towards the Why.  “Oh, yeah…â€� the coordinator said.  “Pim hates me.  It’s just… I’m just very clearly not welcome
in that place.â€� 

 

The more Brit and I talked about it, though, the more we
knew where we were supposed to go.  The When
intimidated me and I didn’t want to be presumptuous and think that God would
use me in a place where others have been chased away, but I knew that He had a
plan in it all. 

 

We went straight there on our first night of bar
ministry.  It’s an awkward little song
and dance the first few times… Brit and I would get dressed to go out, then
spend time in worship and prayer with the other teams who were going out for
the night, then we would all have to stagger when we left the house.  The When was one of the farthest bars down
the strip and the walk over on that first night seemed impossibly long.  When we finally got there, we sat down and
ordered our soda waters and stared at each other for a minute.  “Now what?â€� I asked Brittany and we sat on a
couch, not really sure of what to do next. 
Do we pray out loud but try to make it look like a conversation between
the two of us?  Do we just start a game
of pool?  Do we immediately buy someone a
drink and try to start a conversation right this second?

 

The bar was slow, so the women who worked there all sat
together near the entrance, calling out to passersby.  A young, pretty girl sat apart from them,
sipping from a small bucket of ice water. 
She had stars on her face near her eyes and she looked sweet.  “Are those tattoos?â€� I asked, trying to start
a conversation.  She just smiled and
laughed, shaking her head. 

 

“She doesn’t speak English,� one of the women from the front
of the bar called loudly in our direction.

 

“Oh,â€� I faltered, unsure of what to say next.  The woman moved closer to us, the unstoppable
mix of alcohol and unveiled curiosity running through her veins. 

 

“She’s new and young — her English is no good.  I’m Thum*.â€� 
She settled into her seat, clearly ready to give us her full attention.  I noticed a woman who I assumed to be Pim
observing the exchange from the couch by the door.  She looked harsh and annoyed with Tum’s
behavior, but she didn’t say anything or stop the exchange, so we tried to make
conversation.

 

“Have you been in Chiang Mai long?� Brittany asked.

 

“Oh, sure.â€�  The woman
said.  “My sister, Pim, own the bar.  I have American boyfriend, you know.  He email me. 
When we meet, I say, ‘I don’t like American men.  Where you from?’  He say, ‘England.’  So I went with him and after the sex he said,
‘Thum… I’m American.’â€�  She shook her
head, eyes closed in a strange combination of disgust and affection.  “I said, ‘Ugh… shit.’â€�

 

From there, Thum went on to tell us about Josh, her American
army man from Florida who had spent a week in Chiang Mai and emails regularly
and promises to come back.  She told us
how furious she was when Josh emailed her and addressed her as “Boo� [“I write
back and say, ‘Who is BOO?  My name THUM!’â€�]
She started to cry as she talked about an unplanned pregnancy and how she lost
the baby — whether naturally or by an abortion, I could not understand.  We offered to buy her a drink and she wiped
her eyes.  “You want me to stop crying?â€�
she asked. 

 

Her question broke my heart — I could only imagine the
people who’ve tried to stop her tears before. 
Before we could answer, a thin Australian man walked in.  His narrow eyes darted over the three of us
sitting on the couch and his face instantly soured at the sight of Brit and me.  Thum did not seem to notice, though; she
called him over to us and spoke with him in Thai.  “This my friend,â€� she said and the man nodded
at us without making eye contact.

 

“How are you?� Brittany asked.

 

“Fine,â€� he replied, watching Thum. 

 

“How long have you been in Thailand?� she asked.

 

“Twelve years.â€� 

 

“Really?â€� I said. 
“What do you do here?�

 

He looked at me, clearly annoyed at our questions. “Things,� he said with a smirk that made
my skin crawl.  The man dropped onto the
couch on Thum’s other side, muttered back and forth with her in Thai for a
moment, then kissed her on the shoulder and left without another word to Brit
and me. 

 

“That my friend,â€� she said again.  “Sometime he sleep in my room — no sex
though.  He just my friend.â€�

 

I fidgeted with my empty glass, uncomfortable with the
lingering presence of the man.  There was
something disturbing about his manner and his interactions with Thum, but she
did not notice the effects.  She started
to talk about Songkran, the Thai New Year where the entire country turns into a
massive, four-day water fight.  “You
throw water tomorrow?â€� she asked us.  We
had no plans.  “You come back to the When,â€�
she insisted.  “Twelve o’clock.  We throw water together!â€�

 

We left that night with plans to meet the next day.  As Brit and I walked away from the bar, air
rushed back into my lungs; suddenly, I felt like I had been holding my breath
the entire time I was there.   Though
still uneasy about Pim’s lingering stares and the Australian man’s presence, I
was blown away at how quickly Thum opened up her life to us and how much she
seemed to want our friendship.   All right, Jesus, I thought as we walked
home.  This is way over my head… but I’m ready for whatever You’ve got for us
here.  Let’s go.