Do you believe you are God’s Beloved?
8 But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God’s unfailing love
for ever and ever.
9 For what you have done I will always praise you
in the presence of your faithful people.
And I will hope in your name,
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God’s unfailing love
for ever and ever.
9 For what you have done I will always praise you
in the presence of your faithful people.
And I will hope in your name,
for your name is good.
Psalm 52:8-9
While at debrief in Cambodia one of our squad leaders, Di Dinnis, lead us in an awesome word from the Lord. Her message was about God’s promises, she used the analogue of a baby being born and that God had many “babies” or promises for us this year on The Race. She said that we had 9 more months on The Race and that in that amount of time (just as it is a baby growing in the womb) God has great promises for us that He wants to bring to fruition throughout our time here. Di also said that in order to enjoy the fruit of His promises that there will be a process of refinement through His fire. Also, in order to see the fruit of these promises we must choose into what God is doing (which means we also can choose out). After speaking Di gave us time to spend with the Lord in prayer and worship asking Him to reveal to us what promises or “babies” He had for us this year.
As I sought the Lord about His promises, I was all of the sudden filled with fear and I didn’t understand why so I kept pressing into the Lord in prayer…”God why am I afraid right now? I don’t want to be fearful of your promises, I want to grow this year I want to see the fruit of the promises you have for me this year and the rest of my life.” As I prayed I realized why I was afraid, I was holding a distrust of my Heavenly Father. I realized that I was afraid of the “refinement” process of the promises that Di had mentioned. I was afraid of many things (what if I never find a Godly husband? What if God calls me to be a full time missionary in rural Cambodia? what if I never find a good job and am always struggling to make ends meet?) All of these questions were going through my mind but the biggest was still under the surface.
Going back to my recent history, when Glen passed away, I did not choose into that experience. I did not choose to feel the pain and grief that I experienced. I did however choose to love God and lean on Him for my Hope and Joy despite the circumstances, but it was and still is very HARD at times.
As I sat and asked God about His promises for this year on The Race I realized that I had a very skewed view of God that I was still holding onto. God’s blessings and joy that I have now came through a very deep trial (losing my fiance) and I was afraid that all of God’s blessings would now have to come that way. That the “fire” or refinement Di mentioned would be just as hard as it was to lose Glen. Whew….see how the enemy’s lies can affect our thinking in crazy ways? I had this view of God…that He was “out to get me” and His blessings would only come through really intense pain and darkness. Why would I willingly choose into that I thought as I continued to pray….As I thought this question and fought through my fear, I suddenly was overwhelmed with a sense of LOVE. I was so overwhelmed by God’s Love,I just started journaling everything that God was speaking to my heart, out of that prayer came this letter which I believe is straight from the Lord:
“Beloved, I have eternal Blessings to bestow I AM your Father of Abundance, I lack nothing. I withhold nothing of your eternal inheritance my child I LOVE YOU. I want to see you prosper and abound in my LOVE, accept my love daughter IT IS YOURS, accept it…I have greatness for you, I have anointing for you, I have courage for you, I have blessings specially just for YOU…I love you Carly, I love you!“
Even just typing this up makes me cry, as I read it again I am again reminded of how much my Savior loves me, and He loves you in the same way…so greatly, so immensely. TRUTH is that He is not “out to get” me or anyone, He loves us and wants to shower us with His blessings! I cannot describe to you the freedom I experienced as I realized this truth and really let it sink into my heart, soul, and mind. My God LOVES me, my God has great things ahead…he will not withhold any of the dreams and passions that He has put within me, He is my Father of Abundance and Blessing. If anyone reading this can relate, please read this truth and believe it, be freed from the lies that have entrapped you in shame or bitterness or distrust…God wants to be in relationship with You with Me, He wants to shower you with His LOVE.
Psalm 27:13
13 I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
