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Something not many people know about me…I LOVE FIREWORKS! My favorite part on the 4th of July, aside from awesome family cookouts, is the FIREWORKS!

I think one of the things I love most about fireworks is that they’re completely unpredictable, I wait in anticipation not knowing what color or size they will be, secretly hoping it’ll be the fun kind that sizzle when they come back down (those are my fav’ kind 🙂 ), but honestly there’s no way for me-the viewer- to really know what kind, what color, or even where in the sky they will appear next!

I remember once as a teenager visiting family in Chicago for the 4th of July. My cousins Brett and Hanni joined me as we walked home from the local fireworks display discussing which we liked the most and how great the cake waiting for us at home was going to taste. As we took a shortcut through a neighborhood we came across a few neighbors setting off a HUGE firework bomb in the middle of the street. We walked by just as they lit it and wouldn’t you know it started going off EVERYWHERE, pretty sure there was something wrong with it because all I remember is everyone (including myself) in the vicinity running full sprint away from the blast as fast as we could. There was ash raining down on our heads and I’m pretty sure I was screaming in fear. Brett, Hanni glad we made it through that ridiculous event so we can laugh about it today.

Ok sorry, maybe I should back up a second, the reason I’m thinking and and remembering everything about FIREWORKS is because currently I am in India listening to fireworks going off all over our city. I was walking down the street today and passed by a HUGE religious ceremony going on in the street and they were setting off TONS of fireworks right in front of me (kinda scared me a bit not gonna lie). Then as I took a shower tonight I could see even more fireworks going off in the sky outside the window. Fireworks everywhere!

I’ve been thinking about how my relationship with God relates to how much I enjoy fireworks. We can try to control fireworks and keep them from chasing people down the street, but ultimately things happen and we learn that we are not really the ones in control. Sometimes I think I try to control things in my own life, like God’s plan for my future for example.

Lately, I’ve been praying a lot about what God has for my future and asking for doors to be opened for me to walk through. Just two nights ago I discovered an INCREDIBLE job opportunity which I immediately felt a HUGE stirring in my heart for. So I decided to apply for this job and stayed up most of the night updating my resume, writing a cover letter, statement of faith, and filling out the online application.
I prayed and then clicked send!
(This job is for IJM- International Justice Mission, and would be basically my dream job- I’d be working behind the scenes of a Christian non-profit organization that I truly believe is changing the world for Christ by literally setting captives free- check out their website: http://www.ijm.org/)

I applied for this job 2 days ago and honestly haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, I keep praying…please Lord this would be such an incredible experience, please let me get the job, sometimes I think that pleading with God might make the outcome favorable for me? I’m not really sure why my mind rationalizes things like this but anyway what I’m learning is no matter how many times I beg God, there’s really NOTHING I can control about this situation. I applied, gave it my best shot, have prayed and prayed and prayed about it, and now there’s NOTHING I can do but wait….like the fireworks, you light the fuse, step back and then simply wait for the show. IT’S SO HARD TO WAIT!


My Devotional today said:
“…look for areas where you need to LET GO, leaving your cares in my able hands. Do you trust me to orchestrate your life events as I choose, or are you still trying to make things go according to your will? Be on the lookout for what I’m doing in your life. Worship me by living close to me, thanking me in all circumstances.”

I Thessalonians 5:18

“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”

 So I guess the purpose in this blog post is basically to say that I’m thankful for the fireworks I saw today, reminding me of how impossible it is to try to control God’s plan for my life. God is not to be put into a box, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whether I get this job or not that He’s in complete, Sovereign, control of my life and I TRUST HIM. I’ve seen Him take care of me in the past and I know that He’ll continue to do so in my future. Like the fireworks, I wouldn’t want a “safe” and “predictable” God, I’m glad that my God is in control and that even though He’s not always “safe” and I don’t always understand His methods, He is GOOD and His love endures forever.

(some of the kids I get to hang out with every day from SCH- LOVE them!)