I haven’t been alone in almost 9 months.
Okay I mean maybe I’ve been alone momentarily but I’ve never ACTUALLY been alone.
This has been both the absolute best and the absolute hardest part of my gap year.
I am constantly surrounded by a community of girls… In Cambodia and Thailand, I lived in a small room with 5 other girls. In Malawi I lived with 6 others. In Guatemala, I first lived with 15 other girls, and am currently living with 22. There is also a rule on the world race that you can’t go anywhere without a buddy for safety reasons so it’s safe to say I haven’t been alone for more than 5 minutes throughout this whole 9 month program.
If you ask any one of us we would be able to tell you some pretty crazy stories and experiences that have gone along with community living… And since it has been such a big part of my last nine months I decided to share some of these experiences with you…
The (really) weird:
Ever shared one bathroom with 21 women? Ever fit half of those girls in the bathroom at once? Ever brushed someone else’s teeth because they were too lazy to do it? Ever used someone else’s toothbrush because yours was too moldy? Ever compiled your outfits for a week with just clothes from other people? Ever shared a one person tent with 4 people to stay warm? Ever checked someone’s butt for them because they want to make sure their bite isn’t poisonous? Ever been able to identify who farted in your room the second it happens because you’ve been living with them for so long?
No, no I mean this stuff has actually happened on our squad y’all no joke (ironically I’ve started saying y’all because I’m living with lots of people from the south! that’s community!!!)
The Bad:
Sometimes you think you’re going crazy from spending 24/7 with the same people… and you know what- you probably are. You get annoyed at your community for all sorts of ridiculous reasons on the race… I’ll name a few just to show how outrageous these reasons are. I took a poll from people on my squad of reasons why they have been annoyed…
Someone stepping or laying on your sleeping pad-the only piece of land that can be considered yours and yours only
Someone using your shampoo and conditioner you left in the shower
Someone eating a pack of your cookies without asking
Someone whispering too loudly
Someone using all the toilet paper and not getting another roll
Someone that won’t stop singing songs that are guaranteed to be stuck in your head the rest of the day
Someone eating your food
Someone breathing too loudly(this one is not a joke)
…It’s crazy what community living can do to you and your sanity!
When living in tight quarters with 5 other girls on your team, it is easy to become extremely annoyed at the small things…(I swear, you cough ONE MORE TIME!!!!!) but it’s important to remember that although covering your teammates face with a pillow to stop them from snoring may sound appealing at the time, or that gluing their mouth shut so they can’t make food mouth noises may seem like the right answer, trust me when I say that all of these small things are worth it because they lead to a community living that surpasses even SIBLING level. In order for the good and important parts of living in a healthy community to happen, you must also be willing to go through the hard parts of community living as well.
And when it is all said and done, you come out a stronger person, able to live with others in harmony and only slightly thinking about chopping someones arm off when they won’t stop scratching their head!
The Good:
While all of these circumstances are pretty funny, there are other benefits of having these girls by my side 24/7…
These girls are the best listeners you could ever have… they listen to you and comfort you whenever you need them
They are also willing to have the hard conversations with you; whatever needs to be said, these girls love you enough to say it
They push you to get out of your comfort zone and encourage you to push yourself too
They love having deep conversations with you about the Bible, the enneagram, Harry Potter, or whatever else it may be
They always have an extra pair of clothes for you to wear when all of yours are dirty
They never get mad at you when you freak out at bugs and they (usually) always kill them for you!! (Unless they’re the size of your hand)
They know you better than you know yourself, and are able to help you discover things about yourself that you never knew.
They are able to know you well because they have the same core beliefs and desires and goals in life as you.
They are able to relate to you in a way that no one else can because of the adventures and situations that you’ve been able to share.
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I have formed relationships that have completely changed my perspective on many things and I have made friendships that I will have for the rest of my life.
I used to think community was who you chose to spend time with; your best friends. Now I know that community is having a group of people to love and support you; to breed vulnerability and honesty, which spurs growth. It isn’t always easy, but community builds up the people you are sharing life with, no matter if it is chosen or not. And if you’re as lucky as I was, your community does become your best friends. This year away from home has taught me that true community requires a willingness to love others well, regardless of the circumstances.
And hey, I’m going from 44 squadmates to one roommate, so college is going to be a piece of cake, eh?
