It’s been something God has been echoing to me in our quiet times together. We climbed The Great Wall of China this past week and it was so surreal to me that we were there. We reached a part of the wall where they stopped maintaining. We journeyed on past the trees and shrubs into a clearing and found the ruins of an old watch tower. It was the perfect spot to stop and take it all in. We alternated taking our photos at the top of it. I found myself exploring underneath amidst the rumble of the rocks where it left a window opening to view the mountains and the trail of the Great Wall. I fell to my knees and worshiped to God those very lyrics. Tears welled up in my eyes as I became overwhelmed gazing at His magnificent creation. In Florida we don’t have mountains, heck we don’t even have hills and yet I was there getting to take in His craftsmanship. I was looking over miles and miles of China from this viewpoint. My worship then turned into prayer, interceding for this country with the most people in the world and hardly any of them probably know who created these mountains. I then returned to the group after an “Amen” and smiled at this moment with them. A moment where I reflected on all that has happened over this month in China.
Like the time God helped me to realize how important it was to make a set time with Him…
While in China our ministry involved us working a a foster home with kids that had special needs. There were also many volunteers who worked there a lot of them had kids that were homeschooled. So they left a lot of us the opportunity to tutor them for hours at time and keep them busy with afternoon activities. I tutored a 7 year old boy born with Spina Bifida named Sam David. In between these times we worked in a factory, went on prayer walks in the village, and bonded with the volunteers and families on our free times. This left for full days where you would get to your room and just pass out on your bed. After my first week of ministry I ended up hitting a wall where I felt pretty numb. I was feeling exhausted physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I quickly realized that I had been missing out on some vital God and Me time. It was one night at dinner my team was heading out into the village to try a new restaurant that God told me to stay behind. I remember telling God “ But I really want to bond with them more.” Then God spoke to me saying “But what about spending time with me.” Yeah God got me good with that one. As I stayed behind I entered into a much needed God time. There God told me to fast my lunch time to spend daily time with Him. In these times God spoke and revealed so much onto me. Having these times to reflect with God left room for Him to reveal so much to me in the simplicity of just calling His Name in an empty room. I understood quickly that I had to let go of the expectation that I needed to be on a mountain or stand beside a waterfall for God to speak revelational words to me. Yes those moment can be very moving but that wasn’t what the race was all about. God is always around us you just have to call to Him.
Oh and there was the time God told me more about His presence…
There were two missionaries that just got back from North Korea, Amy and Irene, and they were staying at our ministry for four days. On the last day they spent some time with us and talked about a time they were in Israel. Amy told us how she was by the sea of Galilee and there was a bride having her photo shoot there and in the background was a boat with a fisherman collecting fish and instantly she knew God was there with her. I was just amazed at how in tune she was to her surrounding to immediately realize she was in the presence of God. I then thought back to an adventure day we had in China where we explored the Temple of Heaven. As we walked around like a bunch of tourists we saw a lot of brides having photoshoots all over the place. Every corner we turned there was bride. I thought nothing of it the first time. Looking back on it now after hearing Amy’s story I realized God was there. He was trying to show me His bride, the church. That the people of China were also His people. From there on I didn’t want to miss any moments when God took me places. I wanted to find more of Him, not just marvelous monuments.
Then there was the time He told me not to be so results driven…..
Amy had also prayed for our squad to have discernment from country to country. For us to know when it was time to preach the Gospel to people and when was the time where we would should just pray and worship. Being in China and not having the freedom to share the Gospel definitely left us in the latter of the two. Hearing that really did make my prayer walks more intentional. Even though there was a language barrier with the people in the village and the government doesn’t want us sharing about Jesus didn’t me I couldn’t show the Love of Jesus and pray for them. We would spend about an hour walking into the village as a small group taking turns praying aloud, since they didn’t understand us anyways, and it made being there so much more meaningful. Saying hello to them in their language was common phrase for us to use but it made all the difference as there expressionless faces lit up with grins from ear to ear. God was showing me how to love the people of China the way He loves the people of China. I didn’t want them to see us as just Americans in their village but see the Jesus in us that greeted them with kindness. My heart grew after each prayer walk. I wanted so badly for the Chinese lady at the fruit stand to know who Jesus was, or our favorite noodle lady, or the old man who sat on his porch. God was allowing me to come to terms that I may not see the fruits of my labor but the seeds have been sown and at a proper time they will reap a harvest.
Can’t forget about the time He told me He wanted to use me, yikes….
Every Wednesday night we had fellowship where all the people that volunteered there came together for worship and a message. Our squad had been leading it since we got here. I usually help out with the worship and a couple of other squadmates have shared a message or testimony. Then during one of my prayer times God spoke a message to me share at the last fellowship we would be having in China. I immediately freaked out because I don’t like speaking messages or preaching in front of crowds. I knew I had to tell my team leader now or else I would chicken out. I told her and she told me that I would be the next speaker. God wanted me to speak on leaving and share parts of my testimony that ties into it. The night came and I spoke my message leaving the room a challenge to leave behind something (bitterness, brokeness, pride, etc.) to find greater with God. The response was incredible but the worship afterword was like no other. We went over our usual time but you just can’t put a limit on the Spirit of God.
And there a plenty of other times I could have written about but those seem to resonate louder throughout my heart. Overall I feel as though God was laying it out for me to not continue on this race with expectations. I hadn’t the slightest clue that China was going to be like this at all. And in the end I’m grateful it ended up that way. God continued to show me some much more of Him in ways I didn’t expect Him too. There were no limits to how He would do it. It is that very reason God told to me on that Great Wall to never lose my wonder. His ways are oh so better than my ways will ever be.
Then he told them what they could expect for themselves:” anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat– I am. Don’t run form suffering; embrace it. Follow me ad I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self- sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? Luke 9:23-25 Msg
