Someone once told me “our purpose here on earth is to love & be loved. We are Christ with skin on.”
What does this mean to me?
I think from a very young age I learned this lesson without being able to put words to it. I come from a family that says “I love you” after every phone call, before leaving the house & right before bed time.
I love you. 3 words, 8 letters. It’s something that takes less than 10 seconds to say. But, what does it mean? I’ve thought about this a lot recently. What does love look like? What is love? Am I loved? Am I loving well?
I put love in a box for a long time. I made the idea of love specific for people who I thought could potentially be my husband one day or who was currently my husband in the fairytale imagination I had running through my head. I think in order to know what love is it’s good to define what love is not. I’ve learned that for myself love is not fairytales, love is not what you see on movies, love is not unspoken expectations, & love is not comparison.
What I do know – love is complicated & love is messy. But, what I didn’t realize is that love isn’t designed to be in a box & it’s not just for one person.
love is listening
love is transparency
love is growth
love is communication
love is not judgmental
love is being able to look at other perspectives than just the one you have in front of you
love is authenticity
love is vulnerability
love is so many things. But, one thing I know for sure is all of these things are characteristics of our loving Father. Replace the word love with Jesus. Do you see it? Can you see what he is & what he is not?
Christ calls us his bride. I also think about this a lot. I think about being the bride of Christ. What does this look like? I think about the ways I pursue this title. & then I think about what it will be like when I become a bride one day. Without daydreaming too much I think it’s healthy to have standards on what you want your future marriage to look like.
For me, my so-to-speak “non negotiable’s” might be far different than yours based off of values, past experiences, lifestyles or simply the season of life we are in. Either way I encourage you to search deep & figure out what things you aren’t willing to compromise on because if you don’t have standards the relationship will become the standard itself. & in my opinion it’s really hard to hold each other accountable if accountability was never a priority.
to love & be loved. love is not & should not be reserved for one person.
Matthew 22:37-39 says
“Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
??This passage of truth tells us to love three people. First, love God. Then we must love ourselves & love our neighbors. In order to love others we must first love ourselves. How are you loving yourself well? What things bring you joy? Make you feel connected?
In contrary how are you loving others well? What are you doing to step out each day & show the Father’s love through you?
I want to share a short testimony on loving my neighbor well. I was driving home from Georgia just two days ago & while I was pumping my gas I was approached by a man asking for spare change. Immediately without even processing what he had said to me the words “sorry sir I don’t have any cash on me” left my mouth. I was being honest about not having bills on me but I took a second and thought to myself “Carley you didn’t even hear what he was needing the money for”. So I asked him to repeat what he needed the $1.50 for. He simply replied that he was needing it to ride the bus home. I dug in my change and pulled out a $1.50 in quarters and asked if this would be alright. He said anything would help. As he was walking away I asked for his name & if I could pray for him. He walked back toward me & with the most gentle voice said “Danny” and actually requested prayer. After asking if there was anything specific he needed prayer for he replied enthusiastically that he wanted a “real good job” and to get home safely. We prayed and he was on his way.
Some lessons I’ve learned from my encounter with Danny. Learning to be interruptible almost always ends in a sweet encounter. Blessings are all around us – it’s learning to step into them. Instead of turning Danny away because of my own concerns of where the money would end up the Lord spoke to me on my drive home & said the generous are the ones who become abundantly blessed.
I hope Danny felt loved that day.
I wonder how the world would change if we simply started seeing people & loving them exactly where they were at. If we were a transparent community that talked openly about struggles instead of hiding behind shame & guilt. I wonder what would happen if we simply started to change these behaviors in our family alone.
Ask anyone that knows me – I’m a sucker for love. But, in reality am I that far off? What’s life without connection? Is working hard for success worth it if you don’t have people around you when things go sideways? Happiness is fleeting but in those moments take a second & look around – who’s surrounding you?
love & be loved. seek & be found. connect.
