I am someone who looks up everything – definitions of words, concepts, ideas – yet my faith is primarily based on feelings alone.
Why is this?
Merriam-Webster defines faith as “allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty. Fidelity to one’s promises. Sincerity of intentions acted in good faith. Belief and trust in and loyalty to God. Complete trust – without question”.
But what does faith mean to me?
A journal entry from March 7th: “faith is more than believing in what you cannot see. Faith is knowing how much power the name of Jesus has in this world. Faith is believing He is alive among us”.
I wrote this journal entry in the mountains of Costa Rica the night God gave me a vision during worship. Some back story: on the World Race some teams have the opportunity to be apart of an event called The Awakening. The Awakening is a 3-day retreat where all different WR squads who are in country get together to worship, teach and minister to each other. It’s pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime event that exceeded any of my expectations.
Night 2 at The Awakening as all 200+ racers were worshipping I had a strong pull to drop to my knees and worship before the Lord there on flat ground. I was praying and kept getting this vision of a younger version of myself fishing off of our family’s boat – alone. Just waiting and staring at the water for something to happen.
Shortly after the song was over a girl came up to the stage and said that the Lord put on her heart to share the story of Jesus walking on water.
This is what she shared:
Matthew 14: 24-31
24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[a] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![b]”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[c] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
For those of you that are not as familiar with the Bible and it’s characters Peter was a fisherman and I believe that due to that girls obedience God was talking directly to me. I can’t say I believe that it was a coincidence I had a vision of me as a little girl fishing on my family’s boat right before I heard the story about Peter being described as having “little faith”.
So what does all of this mean? I believe that the Lord was really calling me higher and questioning why I always doubt Him. He asked me why I have so little faith in the fact that His plans are far greater than I could imagine mine to be. He asked me why my faith was so small in the fact that at the time I didn’t truly believe healings done in Jesus’ name could be a real thing. He asked me why I had such little faith in the sense of Him loving me, calling me worthy and more than enough.
Earlier I stated that “I am someone who looks up everything – definitions of words, concepts, ideas – yet my faith is primarily based on feelings alone” and I asked myself a question of why this is. I got to thinking and was reminded of something my dear friend Bailey recently wrote in one of her blogs.
She wrote:
“Have you ever thought about how the small period between engagement and marriage works? You are certain that this is the person you will spend forever with despite the fact that you don’t know every detail about them. You know enough about them to trust them with your forever but you don’t actually know everything about them.”
As I read through her words I can’t help but compare these words to my relationship & faith in God. I have had God moments, I’ve felt Him but I surely don’t know everything about Him. I haven’t gotten to know every character trait, I haven’t seen every detail, the list of “have not’s” can go on for forever. But, the things that I do know, the love that I have felt and the knowledge that I have gained from Him pushes me everyday to not be the little girl on the boat with “little faith”.
blessings,
Carley Jo
If you want to share in some more wisdom from Bailey go check out her blogs on https://baileydgarcia.theworldrace.org.
