Not willingly, and not always with joy, I became a hugger. Good Seed International School turned me into a hugger. Maybe not in full, but more than before, I accept the awkward embrace.
If you know me, you know physical touch is dead last on my love language list. There are few things I dislike more than hugs. Cambodian children didn’t notice that and proceeded to hug me over and over and over again. I got used to it.
The funny thing is, I couldn’t understand why. WHY do these kids want to jump in my lap, hug me, squirm all around and never let go? I’ll assure you, my loving and receptive attitude wasn’t the reason.
Let me rewind with a brief overview of my month:
I began assisting two first grade teachers each day by reading a story and leading recess activities for the students. I spent time with four different groups of students, two morning classes and two afternoon classes. Then, I would help lead an ESL (English as a Second Language) class each evening.
That is until one of the first grade teachers announced her departure. A sweet, genuine and talented Filipino teacher was saying goodbye to GSIS, leaving behind a teaching vacancy and several eager students. Our host, who was also the principal of the school, stepped in to make a tough call with my confident prompting.
“SokEng, if you need someone to teach the class, I can take over until you find a suitable replacement. I’m not particularly qualified to teach first grade, but how hard can it be?”
After a 15-minute Friday afternoon crash course, I became a first grade teacher Monday morning. It was one of the hardest weeks of my race so far. Thankfully I recruited my teammate Brooke to tag-team teach with me. (I actually do not think I could have endured the week without her.)
Kids aren’t particularly my fortè, especially when they lack discipline like some of my first graders did. I don’t blame them. I wasn’t their “real teacher” and they’ve only known me for a week. Why should they listen to Teacher Carley? I didn’t feel very official; why did I demand respect as if I were?
I tried to enforce discipline and structure. I tried to make a perfect and seamless curriculum. It fell apart most days and became pure chaos. I lost my cool more than a few times and felt inferior to 6-year-olds. I felt aggravated and even got a mean. They loved me anyways. They showed up every single day with renewed smiles and open arms.
* I would shout and put my foot down. They’d draw me a picture titled “I Love You, Teacher!”
* I would roll my eyes. They’d come squeeze me in the middle of a science lesson.
* I’d peel them off me for the hundredth time. They’d crawl back into my lap.
Then it clicked.
“For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Matthew 19:14
They’re like Jesus. Even in misbehavior and disobedience, they resemble Him. They love big and love hard. They don’t care if I’m mean, I complain or get frustrated. They forgive quick and shake off hard feelings.
Praise God for giving us a model to follow in small children. Even when I want nothing to do with them, they teach me valuable lessons (kinda like Jesus). Even when I kick and scream and pout about all the ways He isn’t working, He loves big and he loves hard.
I became a hugger because 30+ Cambodian grade school students taught me a lesson about genuine love.
