I live in 1/8th of a Mansion in the part of the house that used to be its dance floor / area. A many of days I can be seen dancing around on the hardwood floor. I will live here for another month and then no more; at first I was kind of sad but then I prayed about getting to the root of the sadness.
The initial thought would be because of the memories I have here; I have lived here as I have prepared for two missions trips and gone on one so far. I thought about the number of people that I have actual had to my house and it is less than I can count on my hands. I have determined that most of my memories happen where I go and not at my home.
The second school of thought would be that I would miss the place itself; the truth is while I will miss the dance floor (I love to dance) and the view of that one loan star out my window each night that is not it either. The floor of the bamboo church in Thailand that had been broken by children praising the Lord means far more to me.
The third school of thought would probably sum up the real deal the best. I was holding onto something that was never mine to begin with. When it comes down to it how often do we get sad over people or over things that are never really ours ? How often do we not want to let go of what is in our hands to receive more ? How do we somehow lose track of the fact that one minute of being in God’s perfect plan and purpose outweighs all earthly things ? We do and I have; thank goodness for the Holy Spirit who lovingly reminds me that I have been running around singing song lyrics for years that say “I will abandon it all for the sake of the call”.
Giving up my apartment does not mean that I am good or wonderful or sacrificial; it just means I am doing my best to obey. It means that I want more of him and less of me.
