transitions

This year is about growth.  Some of that is welcomed.  Some of it is not.  Sometimes you think you want it and then you
don’t.  But then you realize God’s taking
care of it and you actually did want it in the first place. 

I say that to preface the subject, “transitions,” also
known as team changes. 

This year, part of that growth process is allowing people to step
into new areas of positional leadership, and shaking teams up.  Initially I was looking forward to this
change – I was excited about the possibility of changing things up, new people,
new team, and a new dynamic on the team. 
To be completely honest, I was also coming out of a great month of
personal growth, in the midst of an amazing month of ministry in the
Philippines and was really feeling like a call to step into a new place of
leadership.  I tried to keep these
thoughts out of my mind as long as possible, to just try to stay focused on
ministry and living in the moment, but eventually the time came and the
impending changes became inevitable. 

As that fateful day drew closer and closer my excitement
for these changes turned to fear and what-ifs. 
I began to think about the possibility that I actually wouldn’t like
these new people, or the new team I was put on. 
What if I was wrong about the whole leadership thing?  I began to speculate and analyze (as I often
do) and began to question myself and the leadership already in place.  I felt overwhelmed by it all, confused, and
frustrated.  I just wanted the day to be
here – I wanted to know already!

Then it came.  Then
I found out.  We were given an envelope
by Mark and Kyla, our original squad leaders, and we were asked to find a quiet
place to open them and spend a few hours in silence, taking the changes, and
our reaction to them to God.  If that’s
not a set up for disappointment I don’t know what is.  They might as well have said, “go find a
quiet place and don’t make any noise when we tell you that we killed your dog.”  But I did it. 
I found a quiet place, alone, and opened the envelope.  I think I remember my initial reaction to
that moment as just being surprise.  I
don’t know what I was expecting, but what I read wasn’t it. 

Things stayed pretty much the same.  My new team is me, Kathryn, Katie, Kristi, and
Lindsey is still our leader.  We also
added Nate Evans and Amy Book.  Mike,
along with Liz Norris and Noe Rivera, were made the new squad leaders.  Truthfully, it took a little while to get
over that initial disappointment of not being given a title of positional
leadership.  In the time since, as he
often does, God has shown me how much freedom comes in not having that title,
and continues to use Lindsey, and all the leaders on the squad, to change my whole
view of leadership and what it means to truly lead.  It was also hard to have Mike leave the team,
but I know he is where he should be and I’m excited for him, along with Liz and
Noe, to step into and thrive in their new roles.  God is using this time to teach me so much
not only about leadership, but about hearing his voice, trusting his plan,
submitting to authority, and seasons.  He,
of course, was right all along and has me in an amazing place to continue to
grow and mature in intimacy with him.