Community keeps us sane.
For most of us, community has a negative connotation full of criticism, sarcasm, and masquerade. The negative spoken into our lives far outweighs the positive, and the self-doubt and insecurity begin to smother our convictions and aspirations. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If words of death are what break us, words of life will bring us restoration.
We all have a desire to be known. More than that, we have a desire to be known and loved in spite of it. It let’s us know we’re not crazy – that we’re not as messed up as we imagine we are. But being known requires vulnerability. And if there’s anything that growing up in an all too opinionated, critical society teaches us, it’s that vulnerability is painful and dangerous. So we put up walls and shut people out.
In order to break down these walls, we must offer an alternative to the abundance of criticism and scrutiny out there. This is not as daunting a task as it often seems. Here’s the key: we all have problems. We all have been broken at some point, and find ourselves at various stages of living out a restored life. We’re not the cure – Jesus is. Our challenge as his church, is to be a welcome, loving, supportive part of the healing process. Speak the truth. Sow life, not death.
As we celebrated Jesus’ death and resurrection over the weekend, this was all I could think about. His death set us free from the death brought on by lies. His resurrection has given us new life, and a new identity. (Read Romans 8 to see exactly what I’m talking about.) Healthy community reminds of this. Replacing the lies of the world with the truth of God is the only way we realize true healing. And it is our job as imitators of Jesus to remind each other of the truth. We are living representatives of the word of God, charged with combating the death and condemnation with life and acceptance in our communities and in our world.
About a year and a half ago a friend of mine introduced me to a book called Bo’s Cafe. I highly recommend that you check it out, and to keep this short, I’ll save you the book report. Most of the story centers around the friendship between Steven and Andy, and the healing that can come from positive community. Here’s a little excerpt:
Steven, I understand that you have an anger issue. I get it. I understand it’s a big deal. It hurts people you care about. I believe you. I also believe you don’t have much confidence that I, or anyone else, can help you. And so you’re playing it like a trump card so I won’t get too close. You threw that out in hopes of ending our times together.
He continues looking ahead as he speaks. “Look Steven, I have no desire to be your fixer. I want to be your friend. And friends learn to trust each other with stuff so they can stand together. That and they borrow tools. So the more you can let me know the real Steven and the more I can let you know the real Andy, the sooner we can begin to sort things out. That’s it. That’s my angle. Period. I’m not scared off by your arrogance, your anger, or your rudeness.
If you want we can turn this car around and be done with this whole thing. Or a guy with a real anger issue, sitting next to an equally flawed man, can go have some lunch.
Healthy community keeps us sane by accepting where we are in the journey and affirming our true identity. It reinforces that our problems, past, present, or future, do not define us. It reminds us that we all have issues, and that’s ok – that we’re going to be ok – because we don’t have to do it alone.
My challenge to you today is to be particularly conscious of the words you speak and the declarations you make. Go out of your way to speak life and encouragement into your community and those around you. Your words have power. Let’s bring life.
