I have a confession to make: I love the Wonder Years. When the episodes originally aired, I was far too young to recognize it, but lately I've come to truly appreciate the wealth of wisdom that resides deep within 12 year-old Kevin Arnold. And I'm not ashamed to say that on multiple occasions I've paused an episode, grabbed my notebook, and recorded various kernels of sage advice for later review and reflection.
Like in episode 3, when Kevin is on the school bus educating his friends on the importance of responsible career planning:
Kevin: "Now look – first you have to have something you really want ot be, and then you have to have your fallback position. So, like, I wanna be a professional baseball player but my fallbacks are either an astronaut or a forrest ranger."
Friend: "Ok, ok. I wanna be a professional baseball player, too."
Kevin: "And what's your fallback?"
Friend: "Professional football player."
classic.
But that's the beauty of the show. It's just so honest, pure, and real. What little kid hasn't had that thought? We've all had dreams that were way bigger than the realities of our world. It's part of being an American. "Dream Big." "If you can dream it, you can be it." And so on.
But somewhere along the line, life comes along and smacks us in the face with the reality of how far out of our reach our dreams seem. That fallback plan isn't looking so bad after all…
Later in the episode, Kevin goes to work with his dad, Jack. Jack has a pretty typical 1960's desk job. It's not a bad job, but it's a far cry from his childhood dream of being a ship captain. But, as any good father would do, Jack explains to Kevin the importance of the kinds of responsible sacrifices grown-ups have to make.
"You know Kevin, you can't do every silly thing you want to in life. You have to make your choices. You have to try and be happy with 'em."
About 3 weeks ago, I turned 26. As that time of year inevitably does, I looked back over the past year and thought about all I'd done. I started thinking about growing up. But what does that mean? Why does marking another year of life passed really matter? Why do we record our age at all? Obviously it's a measurement, but what are we actually measuring. Thinking about it, I'm afraid it's all just an attempt to comparatively evaluate our progress along an prescribed timeline of "maturity," seeking affirmation through our ability to arrive at various waypoints at, or ahead of, expected.
It's good to know that we should be walking by about the time we're 15 months old. We'll start school around age 5, and progress systematically along a well-defined curriculum for the next 13ish years. We'll start driving a car at 16. And then, somehow, we're an adult by 18.
These milestones and markers aren't inherently bad. But the most common side-effect of this process of growing up, is that we are taught along the way to trade a world of wide open possibilities for deadlines and expectations.
* * * * *
The past few years of my life have been a rebellion against the traditional American timeline for growth and maturity into adulthood. I graduated from college, and instead of getting a job, I backpacked through Western Europe. I then moved in with my parents for 6 months before leaving again for a year-long mission trip (and I'm not even Mormon!). Upon returning to the USA, I took a job with that missions organization, but oh, by the way, you'll have to raise your own minimum-wage salary… great. Less than two years after earning a degree from one of the best universities in the country, and I was dangerously close to food stamps. Not exactly the american dream.
But along the way, something profound has happened. I've learned to let go of what the world says it's "supposed" to look like. I don't know if it's so much about graduating from the “mandatory” parts of life, or realizing that we have the freedom to leave them behind. Either way, the result is a profound, scary, awesome horizon filled with a wealth of possibilities.
Yes, I am 26 and pregnant…with ideas.
I spent the past two weeks in Thailand and Cambodia gaining a better understanding of the non-profit landscape there and being inspired to live out my dreams of changing the world. There is more to come on this later, but I am absolutely bursting at the seams. There is so much need, and I'm just beginning to wrap my head around how I have been uniquely gifted to help meet that need. So many times throughout the trip I felt completely overwhelmed by how big the world – and its problems – can seem. But I was constantly reminded to slow down and take things one step at a time. To simply focus on today and to let someone else worry about meeting imaginary deadlines and timetables for life.
I am convinced that the greatest freedom we can be afforded in this life is that which releases us to chase our dreams – in whatever shapes, sizes, or colors they may come. So for now, I'm focused on reclaiming my dreams and doing everything I can to chase them down.
What would it look like for you to do the same?
