One of the many perks of living in crazy, Christian community is having a team that is not only invested in your personal growth, but a genuinely wants the best for you, even if it doesn’t line up with what you want for yourself. My team is the best at this (I’m obviously not biased at all.
One day as we were talking about our futures, I ended up in a puddle of tears and my team’s response, and sometimes the only response available on the field, was to pray. As they prayed and I cried, one of my teammates had a vision she shared with me. She prefaced it with, “This is a weird one…” and I soon found out why.
My friend had a vision of me as Tris in Divergent. (If you haven’t read/watched Divergent, this might not make complete sense to you but really, do you even live in America?) I am Tris in Divergent and I grew up in this gray space like Abnegation. Although my life and childhood was far from lonely or dreary, it was devoid of the Holy Spirit and full of rules and authorities that I followed implicitly. I accepted and dreamed of my future in this gray world until God came in and made me “Dauntless.” Since then I have been pushed beyond my limits and seen things I’ve never wanted to see. I have been introduced to pain and known what it means to triumph over trial.
But even through this, the Lord is calling me to be more than just fearless. I am in the water tank and I am drowning. My eyes are barely above the water line and I fight against an invisible inevitability. But then my incessant thrashing stops as the realization settles and I declare, “This isn’t real.”
And it isn’t real. These are the “shadowlands,” the echo of the joy that is to come, the shadow of what is in store. It is pointless to drown when the waters aren’t real and it is a gift wasted to live in the gray when God is offering the technicolor.
With that color comes hardship and trials of every kind. But trials only increase our faith, our faith is the basis of our relationship with God, and our relationship with God is the only thing that matters and the dictator of how we live.
The Lord is calling me to live in the unknown because there was no growth and reliance on him in the known. The Lord is calling me to hardship because He knows I can handle it. The Lord is calling me to discomfort because that’s when it’s hardest to trust him, but easiest to find Him.
This seemed scary at first, but as He called me deeper, He also comforted me. The Lord told me four things about my future.
- He will guide me to the end (Psalm 48:14)
- I have been chosen out of the world and appointed for his work (John 15:19)
- I cannot be deceived by wealth or choked by what everyone else thinks (Matthew 13:22)
- He will never let those following His will fall (Psalm 55)
I don’t know what my future brings. I wish I had a “plot of land” in the kingdom of God, but he hasn’t called me anywhere specific yet. What I do know is that I am called and you are called. You have been chosen and appointed and if you choose to answer the call you will be equipped and prepared. You are a spiritual being, an ambassador of the Lord, with work prepared and waiting for you every day. You are more than anything this world has to offer you.
So choose the colorful, the difficult, and the unique today. I don’t care what stage of life you’re in – choose to be the one that takes the road less traveled, even if you’re judged and mocked. God is offering so much more than the plans you have for yourself – you just have to stop long enough to listen and hear what they are.
Fun story: my team is at a hostel right now in Gabarone for my friend’s birthday weekend and we met three Israeli men who were backpacking Southern Africa. The owner of the hostel made a fire and the three men eventually came to sit around the fire with us. They said they were going to leave in 5 or 10 minutes for the casino and to get food, but they wanted to know our names and why we were traveling first. They sat down and they stayed around that fire for two hours. My team and I could have made small talk for that time, but instead we risked their censure and judgment and asked them about their religion and culture. One was an atheist, the other Jewish, and one claimed he was in between Judaism and atheism. How you can be halfway between a monotheistic religion and the belief in no god is beyond me, but whatever. We chose to breach the topics that are considered socially unacceptable and were able to share our faith, testimonies, and stories of the miracles we’ve witnessed along the way. I’m not saying I converted anyone to Christianity that night, but in the moment I felt the Lord telling me to take the conversation deeper and I know that when we are faithful with the little things, the Lord will entrust us with the bigger things.
If we listen, the Holy Spirit is always gently guiding us in even the smallest things. I challenge you to listen and start saying yes to where the Spirit leads. It will drastically change your life to the colorful.
Thank you for the continued prayer support back home! My team and I appreciate it as we fight to finish the last three weeks of our Race strong!
