Giving my heart to the Lord is something that took a while to do. For me, my heart had been broken so many times, that I didn’t think I had anything left to give to Him. I found my value in everything except for Him. But thankfully, within the past year, God has mended my heart and opened my eyes to my true value and worth. As the process of healing took place, I decided that it was finally time to give my whole heart to the Lord, so I did that and when I left for the race, I left knowing that He already had my whole heart… or so I thought.
Throughout this past month while I have been on the race, I’ve asked the Lord to show me what it meant to truly feel His love. But when I asked for this, I asked for it differently. I asked that He would show me His love in a way that I’ve never experienced before. And so He did just this, and honestly it shocked me the way that He did it.
Friends. Friends have always been hard for me. All throughout high school and college I had consistently been hurt by my friends. My heart and mind had been hardened to even hearing the word friend, it made me sick. So to me, real friends just didn’t exist. But within 1 week Jesus literally changed my whole perception of what a “friend” looked like. While I was sick in bed with bronchitis and a viral infection, my friends brought me food and ate with me in my bed so I didn’t have to eat alone. They prayed over me and gave me words of encouragement and one friend even brought me a love letter from Jesus. Outside of being sick, I had friends who genuinely took interest in knowing everything about me. Quality time and physical touch are my two love languages. Hery is one of the most loving, caring, gentle, funny, curly haired, Jesus filled girls I’ve ever met. And knowing my love languages, she would come up to me and just scratch my back, hug me or play cards with me. Her and I have spent hours together just talking in my eno, sharing our stories together, watching movies in bed, crying together and laughing together. And these are just a few example of how loved I’ve been this past month.
Jesus showed me how He loved me by sending His children to physically, emotionally and spiritually love me. Something I have never experienced before and something I didn’t even know I craved. He gifted me with friends.
While I was sitting in church this morning, a song was sang about giving our whole heart to God. And while listening to it, I thought, I’m good I have already given my whole heart to Him. Just as I thought that, Jesus told me the exact opposite, that I hadn’t given Him my whole heart. I was kind of confused and kind of mad, so I prayed about it. Immediately He gave me my answer.
“You haven’t given me your whole heart, because there are parts of your heart that are open now, that were closed before.”
Wow. Shocked and amazed.
Experiencing God in new ways, growing spiritually and allowing Him to love me more and more is continuously opening my heart. Therefore the closer I grow to Him, the more of my heart I have to lay down to Him and put in His hands.
Your relationship with God is a testimate of how much you’re willing to give him. Jesus is my friend, and to feel His love in that way, He had to physically open my heart to what an authentic earthly friend looked like.
So thank you Jesus, for sending your children directly to me, and allowing them to love me and cherish me the way you do. Thank you for opening my heart because without you, it wouldn’t of ever have been possible.
