Living in community hasn’t been the easiest adjustment. Since arriving in Cambodia, culture shock has been a very real thing to me. I haven’t been outside of the United States since I was 3 years old. Yet, here I am, now living in a foreign country. When we arrived at the airport 2 weeks ago I was eager to embrace the culture and all that it embodied. But as we began our bus ride, my heart started breaking for the children and families that lined the side of the road. I didn’t know how to process everything that I was experiencing. As time moved forward I became more and more comfortable in my new environment. Yet I was still struggling and wasn’t sure why. In a conversation with one of my team leaders last night, she mentioned ‘world race culture shock’ as a thing. I hadn’t thought about it at all, but as she explained what this meant, it resonated with the way that I was feeling. Living in community is hard. Living in one room with nearly 40 other girls that you’ve recently met is hard. There is no such thing as organization, as we live out of packing cubes and ziplock bags. Sleeping pads line the entire floor, with fan cords dragging across the room. In a sense, chaos has become a little bit of a normality. Our bathrooms don’t smell the greatest as we have to throw our toilet paper in the trash can and there is always a line to use the restroom or brush your teeth. Yesterday, we ran out of toilet paper because we failed to communicate that we needed more.
Nevertheless, we are learning. It’s loud and impossible to find a corner not occupied by another human being. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. In two short weeks, a few of our teams will move to different parts of Cambodia and 16 out of the 40 girls will be left in our small home. It’s easy to wish away this chaos, in hope of the future. But I’ve decided that I want to grow in it. It is all about perspective. I’m growing in patience and learning how to rest without physically being alone. It’s pushing me closer to the Lord, and that is something that I don’t ever want to wish away.
