Many people, back home and on the race included, have begun to verbalize the dreaded question. The question I know everyone, myself included, is thinking but only some are bold enough to say out loud:
“What are you going to do after The World Race?”
The question that can result in a variety of emotions and reactions: nausea, anxiety, excitement, anticipation, annoyance, apathy, avoidance, pensiveness, and the list goes on. At this point in the race there are many squad mates who have been given opportunities and confirmations of where God is leading them next. And please do not doubt my sincere excitement and happiness for them by this blog. I am definitely rejoicing with them. But one day in the village in Cambodia, pondering of what God has in store for me turned south. My thoughts turned worrisome, and I had a great sense of urgency to go to God in prayer about it in hopes of gaining some wisdom and guidance. Thoughts including, “God can you use me?, What are even my talents and gifts?, Why others and not me?, What country?”.
And so as my teammates went off to a house visit, I decided to take some time to myself and go to God. As I was about to turn to prayer, some of the village children emerged from the bush. They like to come to the center early before afternoon English class to play and hang out. Now any other day I would have readily embraced their beautiful faces, but in the moment I felt slightly annoyed and decided to move to a different location. I said hello to them and moved to my tent, realizing my air mattress was deflated. So i sighed again and began to blow it up. I turned around and the children had followed me, their eyes full of curiosity. Goodness, any other day! I just wanted to figure out my future today! As I contemplated how to escape from these children again, God’s truth hit me right in the face.
“Wherever you are, be all there”.
A quote from a book I had recently read and my teammate had repeated to us popped into my brain. Here I was, putting unnecessary doubts and worry into my future when God had blessed me with this wonderful opportunity. This opportunity that I would never have again. The ability to love these Cambodian children who were so open to us. I literally chuckled out loud as I turned from my tent and turned my attention to why I was in this village. Not to focus on me. Not to focus on my future. Not to focus on my doubts and fears. I was here to love these beautiful people that God had so generously placed in my lap.
Thanks God.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. Matthew 6:33-34
