You’ve probably been wondering why I haven’t written a blog the whole time I’ve been here- honestly, so have I. I think I’ve finally figured it out: The World Race is messy. There are a lot of ups but, also, a lot of downs. I didn’t want people seeing or hearing about the mess. The race is romantacized a lot- with pictures, totally crazy God moments, and strangers becoming best friends. Yes, these things can be, and are, true but there is so much more than just that. That is why I can finally sit down and write this blog.
I came and sat down in the church the other night and I saw that Juan (our host) had written something on the whiteboard that usually stays blank. It said, “We build our plane while we are flying”. I, honestly, had no idea what it meant. I made some dumb joke about it…typical. But, then, he started talking about what it meant and something BIG clicked for me.
Juan, an honest man of God, said that we can never have our planes completely built, meaning our lives can never be perfectly equipt for what lies ahead, scary. I took a step back and, for the rest of the night, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That night, for team time, we went around in a circle and shared what the worst thing we had ever done was. I was really hesitant to share, so I waited awkwardly for someone else to share. I realized I was still ashamed. I realized I really didn’t like the messy parts of my life. I didn’t like talking about the parts of my life that weren’t perfectly put together. As my teammates shared, I finally got up the courage to talk, and I said it, but I still felt ashamed. At the end of that team time every person kind of just looked at each other and said “ what now?”
We get to decide what we do with the messes we have in life. We can choose to use it for a greater purpose. We get to choose the way we live our story. We can let the messy things in life drag us down so that we aren’t able to fly, or we can use it to build us up to become even more faithful servants of God. In James it says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2- 4 I noticed in this verse that in the beginning it said whenever you face trials, which implies that it’s inevitable. That means that parts of our plane are always going to be breaking, but that doesn’t mean we have to crash. I know that, sometimes, the parts of the plane may seem unfixable, but it is indeed possible to keep flying despite our broken pieces. Somedays, ministry seems underwhelming- picking up trash on the street, or praying for an hour. Somedays, I wish I could be back home, and somedays I don’t want to be on my team. Somedays, I don’t feel like getting out of bed. Yet, each morning I get out of bed, I pick up trash and I participate in team time because I know that my time here in Guatemala is just a small stretch of travel that my plane will surely take me through.
Jesus is my destination and I know that I might crash on the way, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take off again. Even when I break, Jesus won’t stop calling me and directing me into His arms. God knows what He is doing. He knows that World Race is just a small little sliver of my travel. So I will keep building my plane while I fly.
