It’s nearing the end of month 9 and I am disappointed. I always heard about other squads in month 9 checking out or being lazy and I told everyone that would never be me. I would give my all till the very end and I would be the same month 1 as I am in month 9, 10 and 11…but I am not. I have gotten complacent with this being my everyday life. I have forgotten the importance of every moment and finding every opportunity. I am not going to lie, I am exhausted in every aspect but I want to finish the race out well. God has convicted me of giving up and giving in to my selfish desires lately.
I want to end this race as strong as I started. I want to have the same passion for the people that don’t know God than I did when I started. In Hebrews 6:11 its says, “We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized”. That’s my prayer right now that God would give me a second wind, extra desire and more love for each person I meet. I miss feeling passionate about things. This life has become something that has made me numb in many ways.
In Romania, there is a lot of spiritual warfare. For everyone it has come in different ways but for me it has come in the form of numbness and lack of feeling. We evangelize on the streets each day from 1-5, passing out bibles and talking to people about their relationship with God.
Right now I am asking for prayers. I am asking for you to stand in the gap for me. I am fighting on this side of it but I need you. I want to finish these last 2 ½ months with passion, zeal and desire but right now I feel I am just making it through the days and surviving. Honestly, I just want be thriving.
