The race is ending in one week. In one week this crazy adventure is over and life goes on. I will never see some of the people I met ever again and all I can do is pray for them. They will never know the impact they had on my life but I will never forget them. Life as I have known it for a year is changing again.
How do you even think through a whole year of your life and sum it up? Can you sum up to me the past year of your life? How can I answer the question: How was your year? Tell me about the race? If you are asking questions like these please be prepared for a long answer or have time set aside for me to be able to tell you what the race has meant to me.
My biggest advice in being the best support you can be to me through this transitional process would be just have patience. Have patience with the fact that I wouldn’t understand why not everyone has a passion for the world like I do, I will have a hard time with people that don’t agree with the trip and I will need time to process who I am today and the changes that have taken place over the past year.
When I left for the race I thought it was awful that people had pride for America, I thought how ignorant to think it is the best place there is. I can honestly tell you now I have a passion for america, a heart for the people, a desire to make change in the church and each time I think about it as my country I have pride. With that being said it will take time for me to adapt back into the american lifestyle having every thing I need at my fingertips but also know I never want to take that for granted again. I don’t want to adapt back into the “American mindset” just because I am living there.
So this year has been a whirl wind that I can’t explain in a word, paragraph or probably in a lifetime. It was an experience. I would say the two best words I could describe it in would be challenging and growing. I wouldn’t say it was always fun and I wouldn’t say I didn’t cry this year probably more than ever. I also wouldn’t say it wasn’t the best, most full but hardest year of my life thus far. I had my heart broken for women in sex trafficking, even for the men that bought them, I watched kids run around with no clothing, sickness take over older men and women’s bodies because of no medical care, I met people who trusted God without any question and those who were so confused by other false gods they were clouded in judgment. My heart breaks each time I think about the orphan I met in Swaziland, the women that sell themselves every night in Thailand and the widows I met in Nepal. It is hard to process what it means to live with what I have seen and felt and live a “normal” life. I have to take what I have seen and felt and act! I can’t work a 9-5 job with normal pay in a normal office, I won’t be content till I am making a difference. People can tell me that I won’t be happy with a low paying job because I will always have financial struggle and I can tell you that I lived on a very small budget this past year but I was so happy because I was making a difference in others lives and I know that is the calling over my life. I will never be content with anything less.
With all of that being said, you don’t have to ask what comes next or what is my plan now because I am here to tell you, I don’t have one. I am trusting God to provide something. I have so many passions and he knows the desires of my heart so I am not thinking or worrying about it. As soon as I know the plan, so will everyone else. I plan to come home and be with the people who love me while God and I figure it out. I can’t wait to be home in just one week. (well to New York in 7 days and Arkansas in 11) See you all so soon. Please contact me about the race as I will be sending out final newsletters from the trip. I want to tell you my experiences and allow God to be a testament to how I am today!
Love you all and thank you so much for your support throughout this year! I couldn’t have done it without you!
