Top Ten Funniest Moments of living in the bush in Swaziland
1. Courtney chasing bull off of property (it is what started the list!)
2. Talking to South African friends at Braai and telling them we don’t bathe
Our contacts (young men our age clean and well groomed) were trying to tell us how to hook up a hot shower at the ranch. When Courtney quickly responded with “It’s ok we don’t bathe”. Which was immediately followed by raucous laughter.
3. Carcass spread out over Joshua’s desk to make kebabs that were not even wanted at Braai.
Despite our chaos and craziness at our previous braai we were invited to another braai at the home of our contacts (The ones we told that we don’t bathe). They made fun of us at the previous braai for having premade hamburgers so we decided to impress them and make impala kebabs. In our attempt to impress them Joshua (manager of the ranch) pulled up to find us (Emilie, Candice and James) arm deep in raw impala meat (carcass) spread across the desk (carcass). As we proudly announced we were bringing the kebabs to the braai he said “It’s ok you don’t have to bring anything!”
We weren’t exaggerating that is a lot of meat!
3. Potatoes spilling on ground when James & I were draining cauldron.
During our typical dinner routine we (Courtney and James) performed our regular duties of draining the cauldron. There was a little boo boo and a few (maybe 20-30) pieces of potato and onions spilled out of the cauldron onto the hay. During our sly attempt to place the potatoes back in the pot unnoticed Candice looks over and sees the crime in action. She announces to the whole group of our casualty. James attempted to shush the racket but the secret was out. To this day that was one of our favorite dinners hay and all.
*Spilling became a nightly routine but we considered the hay as extra fiber.
4. At Goodbye Braai Elizabeth threw a locust on Christy in front of friends
(Story told by Elizabeth) Brady and I were sitting on the couch outside, chatting away with our new South African friend. We were really proud of ourselves for being social. I was starting to think I was getting good at mingling when he stood up and I noticed a 5 inch locust on his back. I didn’t know what to do so I whispered to Brady but she hadn’t seen it. I was starting to feel like an awkward party guest, seeing imaginary bugs but then he turned around. Brady saw it too. “Tell him”, I whispered. She looked at me awkwardly. Our South African friend noticed the commotion so we had to let him in on our little secret. He felt around to his back for the bug and sure enough, he retrieved a 5 inch locust. What does one do with a 5 inch locust, you ask? Naturally, you hand one leg to Brady and one to Elizabeth. Side note: Brady and I typically like bugs but this locust was big and ugly. In the blink of an eye, Brady let go of the locust’s leg. The locust swung its body into the palm of my hand. That’s when it happened. I flung the locust across the room, straight onto Christy’s leg. For a whole second we watched the locust sit on her leg. But after that second, she noticed and stood up screaming bloody murder trying to fling it off her pant leg. Everyone at the party was now staring. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I look over at Brady, she’s doubled over. I feared she’d fall off her chair. The moral of the story: I’m not really getting good at mingling. But the locust, on the other hand, made his way all around the room.
5. James attempting fire with bonfire 100 yards over
During our early days in the bush we had to ration firewood due to our limited resources. One evening James had spent over an hour slaving over making a fire for our dinner. As stomachs were growling and people were growing impatient as the night wore on. Morgan walked 100 yards over and saw a huge (I am not exaggerating 7-8 feet high) was a bonfire. She called us over and said you have to see this! To our shock the fire was raging and in our intense hunger we decided to ask the guards for help. The guards came over with a huge pile of wood and the fire was going within minutes. After our 4th of July braai our contacts took pity on us and provided unlimited firewood.
6. Courtney locked in toilet first night at camp.
I went to use the toilet/bathroom our first night in the bush and locked the door. I wasn’t quite used to living with so many people and didn’t trust them to knock. I locked the door and to my surprise when I tried to leave the door was stuck. I was locked in the toilet! I climbed onto the toilet and poked my head out the window and called for help. After a few more minutes at attempting to open the door Andrew said “have you tried to pull the handle?” That was the trick and I was free from the toilet.
7. Morgan falling on face coming out of tent
(Story as told by Morgan) One morning I was in a hurry as I am every morning. I was running from my tent to the back of the truck and I was the last as usual. i didn’t notice the tent string that had been there since the beginning. I managed to catch both feet in the tent string and fall flat into a pushup knees straight and all. The only injury I received was a small cut on my hand but thump was heard for miles around.
8. Silas and Candice running and tripping together
(Story as told by Candice) As Silas and I were nearing the end of our run he casually tripped over a rock. I looked over and said “It’s ok don’t be embarrassed I fall all the time when I run.” As the last words were coming out of my mouth I found myself on the ground with a scraped up hand and Silas reaching down to help me up. When we returned Silas asked if I needed any Neosporin and Emilie looked up from a distance and said “Oh no she fell again!”
Amazing the scar is inthe shape of Africa!
9. Morgan running to catch friends and Swazi man imitating her and running and waving
We were driving down the highway going back to the ranch to meet the Black’s for our braai. We had passed their van but they didn’t realize they were passing our bus. Morgan just thought someone needed to get their attention and let them know where we were living. Without thinking she started running down the highway and waving at the Black’s van. Somewhere in the middle a local man misinterpreted the hysterical waving believing his long lost love had come to meet him. He began running towards her jumping and leaping with joy until he found she was looking beyond him to the van. Morgan and the man centered between the vans made quite a show for all to see. Everyone in the van was yelling “TOP TEN TOP TEN!!”
10. Chinese firedrill around the kombi bus
On our last day of ministry our bus kept making random stops on the side of the road. In our excitement of the day Tamara yells “Chinese Fire Drill!!!” So we jump out of the bus and run around like crazy white people making circles around the bus. As we made our way around we high fived the drivers. Everyday is an adventure living out in the bush and we wanted to end our last day on a high note.
I hope everyone enjoyed our silly stories of life together living in the middle of nowhere. Thanks for the comments I love to hear back from you guys. There will be more to come as we continue our journey around the world!
