On our last night at debrief in South Africa, we had a night of endless prayer and worship. Durring the group worship I remember feeling a little funny, I could not sing the songs and I couldn’t pray. Then the Lord took to me to a place on my knees before Him. I sat in the same place for nearly 2 hours. In this place I was unable to pray or think. The Lord told me that He didn’t need any empty words or routine christianese, He told me to just be still and sit in His presence. At first I was growing impatient, I would say to the Lord, “are you going to speak to me?”. Then he would gently respond asking me, “what if I don’t, are you going to stay here with me still?” Through out the night the Lord would continue to ask me, “DO YOU TRUST ME?”, initially I was thinking of course I turst you God! Then thoughts of Thailand began to come to my mind and the Lord told me that I am going to have to trust Him.
The following day we were leaving for Thailand. I approached Gary Black and asked him for a challange to take with me. He confirmed exactly what God had been speaking to my heart. He told me to go to Thailand knowing my identity as a daughter and embrace the call that the Lord places on my heart.
We arrived in Thailand and I was not feeling well at first but I was ready. At the end of the first week I kind of took a moment to reflect, thinking that I didn’t feel any different than any other place this year. Outreach shook me up a little bit, but I didn’t feel that I had a special role to play here.
Then I met Bla and Ann. I found that they had a special place in my heart and I knew that I had made an impression on them. I began to feel a passion to take them out of there and love them. I approched one of the outreach leaders at NightLight and she told me that it wasn’t a good idea to take them out, but she said I could ask Annie, the founder. I got permission from Annie and thats when we made plans to take them out on Wednesday.
As I shared in my last blog,( http://candicehill.theworldrace.org/index.asp?filename=not-the-blog-outcome-i-wanted-to-post ) things didnt turn out the way we would have dreamed, but the Lord is Faithful and He redeems every situation. But when I close my eyes to sleep at night I am kept awake by the horrible images of Bla being used by that man for his pleasure. Then the Lord whispers to my heart the same question, “Do you trust me?” I don’t understand Lord, but I turst You!
Scripture has been coming alive to me in ways I never felt before. I spent hours meditating on the truths of the word over the past couple days. I am reminded as I read scripture, that this is not a book of “feel-good” sayings to make things better but it is a book full of promises and truth. The Lord does not make empty promises and He did not break my heart to see me hurt, but to draw me to a place where His promise can be fulfilled.
“and surely I am with you ALWAYS to the very end of the age”
Bla and Ann are more than an item for sale, more than a sad story and more than a blog. They are daughters of the King, trapped in bondage and waiting for their resucuer (not me) to come and redeem them.
Sometimes I feel hopeless that I will not see them out of chains (literally, they wear chains on the bras and string thongs) but I know that it is a lie from the enemy. I Do trust you Lord!
