Each day I have been challenged by a lie that one of my teammates believes about herself. Each day she tells all the girls on the team something that tears her down as a person and we choose one of the five lies she has told us. We pray over the lie, ask the Lord what He wants spoken into her, and then we take what we have been told back to her in the hopes that it will be the words needed to banish out that particular lie from her heart and mind. This was a task given to her by one of our squad coaches, Dawnette, during debrief in the Philippines. The idea was for my teammate to relinquish herself of these lies and be able to grow past the words the enemy has been speaking into her with our help. I truly believe this has been working because I have watched with girl open up, take charge, and interact in large groups more since beginning this process; however, this task has helped me grow in my faith and walk with Christ as well.
The first lie I was tasked with was: I am a burden. Harsh, right? But aside from being ‘harsh’, it’s demeaning and heavy in it of itself. How many times have you felt like a burden to someone else? How many times have you allowed this to be your reflection of yourself? Sometimes it’s for the little things, like when you fall ill with the flu and need someone to drive you to the doctor and then the store for medicine and soup. Or maybe it’s a step up from that, and you ask someone to cover your shift or watch your kid so you can catch up on some much needed rest. Other times it’s deeper, and it’s when you need someone to stay up three hours later than normal so you can bare your soul to them under cover of darkness and sleepy ears that will hopefully forget what you’ve told them by morning. Burdens are different from person to person, but it doesn’t make them any less heavy or hard to cope with. I was able to share a burden of my own with my teammate that falls somewhat similar to a line in her story. This moment we shared in our eight-person room at Hometown Hostel brought us a step closer because I felt comfortable to share a secret, a burden, with her through this task she has been presented herself, and in turn presented to us. I shared this burden of mine in the hopes to validate her feelings of her lies, but not to validate the lies.
The second lie I received from her was: My future is not good. Bleak, right? Imagine thinking about your plans for the future and thinking, “This isn’t going to be good.” Eventually, the thought of crafting a new path is null and you will give up. That’s exactly what the enemy wants from us; to give up, to be down on ourselves and others, and to eventually fall into a dark hole of despair. I’ve also felt this same thought many different times and allowed myself to fall into hard times because I already felt like I was so low, but why did I feel like I needed to go lower? Well I stumbled onto what I would share with my teammate to vanquish this lie in a late night conversation with Michael under cover of star apple trees and umbrellas on the patio of our compound about two hours away from downtown Manila. We were chatting in a small group about what we all envisioned for ourselves post race; talk about going back to work, continuing missions, and moving to another country filled the wet air around us when suddenly, “…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”, came springing from Michael’s mouth. I instantly felt like those were the words I needed to share with my teammate and the next morning I took Matthew 6: 24-34 to her. This was actually the first verse I shared with someone on the race…and in a long time too, if I’m being honest. She began to smile and when I finished reading the verse to her in my hoarse voice, she told me that at training camp someone had come up to her and given her the same verse. These were obviously words that God was pushing her way and trying to envelop her faith and self in. It was one of those moments that I got to watch God in action and it helped me feel like I was a part of something greater and giving me a sense of a better future for myself as well.
There will be more lies I will take from this sister of mine that I replace with truths that uplift her. I hope to see change in her views of herself and change in the lies I tell myself as well.
