Lets be honest! I was on the verge of having a complete meltdown as I pull into training camp.
What did I just get myself into?
I can’t turn back now.
Jesus this is really happening.
What will happen when they recognize I’m broken, hurt, and I barely know how to keep it together?
What will they do when fear starts unmasking the hidden walls and insecurities I wanted no one to see?
And what will happen when they recognize that the smiles and laughter I wore was a cover up to hide the fear of having to be vulnerable and exposed before a group of 30 people?
I was thirsty and longing to escape to a place where joy could be found because it had been lost in the wilderness of life. I was drinking from a well of fear and doubt, insecurities and unforgiveness, shame, and hopelessness and burdens.
And here I was about to walk up to a bunch of people wearing orange shirts and I hear a still small voice that says,
“If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water.” John 4:10
I knew then I had to serve fear, doubt, insecurities, unforgiveness, shame, hopelessness and and every burden that I carried an eviction notice. It was no longer going to be the well that I drew my water from.
Every day, every moment, and every hour I found myself drinking from His cup and laying at His feet. I knew that before I could go to South America to tell about a well of living water that I first needed to drink.
God knew I would be at the well and He made a divine appointment to be there when I arrived.
And so I drank. 10 days I drew from the well of living water.
He promised me that the water he gave would be like an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life. Every day as streams of water flood my face I began to see the fresh living water He was longing to give me.
His generosity towards me awakened the freedom of abandonment. Leaving everything behind to follow…Him.
As I follow Him I take full ownership of the mission at hand. To stop being an observer of Jesus and be committed to living out the Great Commission by making disciples everywhere I go. I won’t wait for opportunities to arise but I will make the most out of every opportunity to love my brothers and sisters and call them home to the Father.
The mission doesn’t start in South America… it started when I said “yes” to Him.
