“Homeless and Hungry, Please Help.”
That was the cardboard sign I saw every other day from a man I would pass by in my daily commute home from work. I saw him In the heat, in the cold, and even sometimes in the rain. He would pace back and forth from the light to the end of the car line with his lifeless hat held out. I couldn’t begin to imagine how many times he would do that in a day only to do it all over again the next day and the day after.
As cars passed by I would notice myself and others sometimes rolling up their windows, avoiding eye contact with him, and on occasions there would be someone who gave him loose change and some food.
Being in Atlanta you see so many homeless individuals nearly on every corner downtown you can become apathetic to the signs, the people, and the faces. You give a little here, give the leftovers from you dinner, and the loose change in your car….but most times we give and do nothing.
This particular day I saw the anguish and the hopelessness in his eyes. There was something different about passing by him this time. It felt like I was leaving Jesus behind.
Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’ Matt. 25:37-40
I couldn’t shake the image of his face out of my head. This I had nothing tangible to offer him except a prayer of “ God please send help his way.” Days of passing by I was the help he needed. I was the answer to the prayer I was asking God. I procrastinated, I made excuses, I ignored, and I overlooked him as just another homeless guy.
For the first time in my life I could identify with how he felt. Of course I wasn’t homeless and hungry. I was desperate and exhausted but I knew I had to keep pressing. I was hearing the pressures of “What if you don’t meet the deadline?”
“What are you going to do?”
“What’s next?”
“Are you still going?”
“That’s a lot of money.”
Here I was day in and day out asking for donations to meet deadlines, sale shirts to raise money, and constantly thinking of new fundraising ideas because the one after another seemed go unnoticed by the day. I knew what it felt like to constantly be humbled and ask for help even when people stop responding and when people made verbal commitments and never followed through. I was becoming restless and felt like I was being passed by.
But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. 1 John 3:17-18
Since when was it okay to become numb to the things of God and the needs of His people?
When He tells us to give we procrastinate. We make excuses to give next time. We give sparingly because, “At least we gave.” We’ve become a generation that seeks, “ What do I gain if I give.”
I remember thinking, “God, if people don’t want to donate to help me reach $5000 how in the world is $10,000 going to happen, and $17,561!” You get applauded for doing missions until you start asking for money. It was a great conversation starter until you tell people how much it cost to raise. The people in your corner become less and less it seems. I was beginning to look like a fool. And it was scary.
In this place of testing faith I kept hearing,
“Keep your eyes and affection on me. Don’t look to man to only do what I can. I’ll open the hearts of people. Keep your eyes on me. I will not pass you by.”
I had to go back to where I was rooted and that is Christ. I knew that although discouraged I couldn’t stay in that place. I knew that I had to pray. I knew that I had to continue to fight. I knew that I had to continue to drown out my fears and concerns with the word. I knew that I was willing to look like a fool if it meant God was going to get all the glory, if people would be drawn to Him through this journey, and if I found my faith to continually tested and be found deeply rooted in Him.
I knew He wasn’t passing me by when I received a message from an angel here on earth telling me that they had been praying and God wanted them to donate $1400 to meet my first $5000 deadline,to stay encouraged, and to fight my way through.
I am fighting my way through while keeping my eyes on Him.
“From the head to the heart
You take me on a journey
Of letting go
And getting lost in you
My heart is open wide
I will receive your light
You give me faith like a child
In you my heart runs wild
Cuz there’s no shame
In looking like a fool
When I give you what I can’t keep
To take a hold of you “
-United Pursuit
Thank you to all who have donated and have been praying with me and for me concerning this journey to South America. It means to me more than you’ll ever know!
