I’m good at putting on a mask. Saying the right thing and doing the right thing, but never the real thing. Never what is real. And the right thing turns out to be the wrong thing because I’m just submitting to someone else’s idea of right. Not the real me – what others want me to be.
Ultimately, I’m afraid to be seen.
I know I’m not the only one that does this. Let’s be real – we were made to be naked (keep your clothes on people. I’m talking about a spiritual naked, not a physical one). However, we hide behind lies, hard hearts, and manipulation – fearing what will happen if our nakedness is rejected.
Some brilliant people have written some brilliant things (imagine that) about being naked. Like Donald Miller in his book Searching For God Knows What, writes a section titled “Why Nudity is The Point.” He mentions that after Adam and Eve sinned the first thing they realized was their nakedness. For the first time they had insecurity. Peter Rollins wrote an incredible blog called “Naked.” In his blog, he talks about a gathering in which everything scripted was removed. Nothing was planned. People could say what they felt, and not just what others wanted to hear. He talks about how the room was awkward and beautiful and honest.
What if the point is not to hide our insecurities, but to find enough security from the Lord that we can be ourselves. No flattering cover ups or spiritual make-up. If we could push through our fears, then we would have our vision restored enough to finally see something that is immensely beautiful. Our redemption – the finger of the Lord making us beautiful despite our flaws.
You see, even in my attempt to be vulnerable, I am completely selfish. My ability to manipulate the way others see me is sickening. However, if I could get rid of my false perfection, God’s grace would become a necessity that I acknowledge, instead of one I pretend I don’t need.
Picture people putting away their pride, selfishness, and ripping down the mile high walls that we build around our hearts. You know, that same walls that have trapped us in. Just think how it would feel to care about someone regardless of what they have done, and then try to comprehend someone caring about you that exact same way.
Now imagine this was not something we had to imagine.
It’s incredible how much more love we would experience if we would allow people to love us for who we really are instead of who we are trying to be.
But sometime I wonder, is it even possible?
