There is a reason I’m a feeler.
A little over a week ago, I found myself in worship with my entire squad. We were at debrief. Debrief was held in Moldova right before leaving for Mozambique. It was a time for us to really sort and wrestle through some things the Lord has been doing in our lives. Well, when we were not picking lice out of peoples hair, but that’s a story for another time. Anyway, debrief was also a time for us to put to words all of the things we had been feeling and thinking over the last couple months. Also it was a time for us to worship in a room where nobody cares what you do.
Sing
Scream
Cry
Don’t cry
Get on your knees
Hide in a corner and pray
Doesn’t matter.
The Lord loves it all.
So I found myself worshiping the Lord and praying over my squad the things I wanted for myself.
I wanted to understand His love more.
I wanted my life to be nothing but Glorifying to Him.
I wanted to feel His presence.
But I'm learning it’s better to see someone else get the very thing you want, than you yourself receive it. So I asked big things for my squad and I asked that the Lord would bring those things down.
And of course He did. The Lord delights in giving us more of His presence.
Just a little while later we were asked to prophecy over the people on our team.
So picture this: We were asked to close our eyes and then one of the AIM staff would tap someone on the shoulder and we would tell them the things the Lord was directing us to say.
My initial thoughts:
What?
I’m not doing that.
I don’t know what to say.
This is silly.
Absolutely not
I’m not sipping on that crazy juice…
But then I got over myself and my pride and did it anyway. Guess what, yes I sure did receive a lesson in humility – The Lord blew me up with His voice. However, it was not what you would think. I could literally feel what the person I was praying for was feeling.
Delight
Fear
Heartbreak
Excitement
Joy
I could feel it.
And then the Lord would tell me the way that He felt about them. “They are living in fear, but they love me and my love cast out fear.”
I don’t really know how to fully explain what the Lord did in my heart that night, but I know He speaks to us, and I know that sometimes it can take forever, or laying down our pride, for us to realize how it is that we hear His voice.
He made me to be a feeler. I actually like to cry. He used a part of me that He not only created, but that He loves. He showed me a gift that not everyone has. He has given me the ability to sympathies with others in a way that is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
I don’t know, dude.
Call me crazy but the Lord let me feel His heart for His children.
I was blown away.
It was overwhelming.
The Lord speaks.
I knew there was a reason I’m a feeler.
