Ok, some of y’all read that title and only clicked on it because I have yet to write a blog on the mission field (whoops) and you’re desperate to hear anything about or from me. Some of y’all clicked on it merely out of curiosity. I do not know how all of you stumbled upon this blog, but I hope you will give me a little time and space to clarify what I mean by that brazen title. Alrighty, here we go…
For the past 2 months my life I have been on the mission field in Serbia and Romania. My Race so far has been FULL and OVERFLOWING with the tangible goodness of the Father. I have seen people literally healed, I have been literally healed, finances have fallen from the ceiling, freedom and redemption have come to broken souls, the Lord stopped the enemy in his tracks from an act of terror, supernatural unity has flowed, and that’s just to cover a few. I was praying boldly, in faith, and EXPECTING results. And wowie, results were happening left and right. Truly. The Lord has been blowing my mind.
I could take up this entire blog detailing every amazing, extravagant, difficult, beautiful, breathtaking, crushing, and brilliant thing Papa has done . But as I type, the Lord will not allow me to. Every word I have typed for the last hour has been erased as my fingers sit like lead on my laptop. All I can hear in my mind is
“What do you really want from Me , Campbell?”
Pausing to take a moment to let these words saturate my being, I ask: What do I really want from the Lord?
As previously mentioned, I have asked a lot from the Lord and I have seen Him deliver. However, I can feel my heart stir and feel dissatisfied…
NOW HOW ON EARTH COULD THAT BE?
My dream has come true by being on the World Race, I’ve seen signs and wonders that we have prayed for, I have experienced victory over habitual sin, I am surrounded by people who love me well, I have everything I desired as a burned-out senior in college: freedom. And yet, my heart aches for MORE.
I sit immovable and I am realizing that Papa can give me everything I desire, everything I ask for, everything I think is worthwhile, everything that is GOOD, and guess what: it’s not enough.
Here’s what I have to share with you: my heart and your heart is made for Jesus and Jesus alone. It is not made for things AND Jesus to satisfy. It is not made for The World Race AND Jesus to satisfy. It is not made for healing AND Jesus to satisfy. It is not made for friendship AND Jesus to satisfy. Everything I am was made for Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone. All of those things listed above are phenomenal GIFTS from Him, but they never ever surpass Him.
So, even as a missionary, even as a beloved of the Lord, even as someone walking in freedom, even as a newlywed, even as someone who may have no plans to walk with the Lord, even as someone who denies the Lord’s existence: NOTHING will captivate and appease your heart as the man Jesus Christ. Everything good apart from His presence and first love will ultimately turn to ash in your mouth guaranteed. He and He alone encompasses the full glory and weight the human heart was created for.
With that being said, I would like to outwardly answer the question that Papa has been asking me the last hour.
“What do you really want from Me, My Darling?”
Let my prayer and cry be that I just want You.
Our Papa is sitting before you asking you the same question. What will your answer be?
“JESUS ALONE IS MY REWARD. My Reward: my heart will be forever forever Yours.”
