One of the biggest revelations of my World Race thus far is that it is totally possible to sign up, come on, and complete this whole shebang without truly transforming one bit.
As bizarre as that might sound, it is not only plausible, but actually probable in many cases. You see, even on a missions trip, you are capable of going through the motions and not allowing any inward shift to occur.
And this fact terrifies me.
It terrifies me how easy it is to come on a missions trip, go around the world, and come home exactly the same as when you left. Except now you have some cute pictures with orphans and some added stickers for your Nalgene from Romania and Namibia.
This truth came to me one day as I was reflecting back on certain weeks and months. As I thought back I realized:
“Wow. I don’t know if I really grew THAT much during that time…”
Of course in the “normal” ebb and flow of life, one does not typically reflect back every single week or month to see if they can spot growth. They might do that in their job, but rarely with their soul.
However, when you come on a missions trip, you sort of expect that growth to just happen. You assume that because you’re in another country sanctification will appear.
And let me be the first to tell you that becoming more like Jesus through sanctification is not just an act of “now you see me (flesh), now you don’t”.
But rather, it’s the monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, minutely SUBMISSION to the Holy Spirit’s desire to make you into the image of Jesus.
And THAT revelation. THAT truth. Well, it will knock you off your feet.
Only when we are becoming more like Jesus are we actually becoming more like ourselves.
As His “image bearers” we have a deep, inward notion that somehow, someway, we are stamped with the Creator and anything short of exuding His character simply does not sit right with us.
Naturally, due to the poison of sin, most people go throughout their life completely unaware of this Image they are lacking to display. But inwardly, there is this insatiable, nagging sense that something is not quite right. We are not living up in some way. We are not doing enough. We are not being ALL we can be.
This notion is actually not a self-esteem issue. It’s a God issue.
Yes, it’s really that simple and yet incredibly complex at the same time. This is not an issue of you living up to your potential; it’s an issue of you living up to who you are CREATED to be.
I don’t want to come home the same person. I don’t want to come home and everyone say,
“Oh same old Campbell is back.”
That thought sits like vomit in my mouth.
If I am truly living and submitting in a way that I was MADE to: I shouldn’t look the same. I shouldn’t be recognizable.
Because ONE YEAR of sanctification has taken place. ONE YEAR of becoming more like the Image of the Son has taken place. ONE YEAR of Life has occurred. ONE YEAR of redemption has happened.
And the reality check of that not happening because I clung to a movie inside of my Savior, I ran to food for comfort instead of my Redeemer, I checked out on wifi instead of listening to the whisper of my Papa, I grasped at other’s opinions and acceptance more than the UNCHANGING love of my Husband puts a Holy fear on me.
I don’t want to come home and be the same Campbell Stewart.
I want to come home and be more like Jesus.
Only when I pick up my cross and die to myself, is my true self able to emerge.
Jesus. Only Jesus.
