Last week, I went outside behind our house to sing and pray for a little bit.
I was singing a song called garden (you can find it here!)
in the chorus it says “ you’re making my heart a garden”
After singing this line, I felt like God wanted me to search and find out more about what this meant!!
I went inside and asked my friends.
“What do you think of when you think of a garden?”
I got the expected responses.
“flowers.” -dan
“Color”-erin
“Herbs” -Ben
Hmm. I still didn’t know what it meant for my heart to be a garden!!
So I wrote down what I knew about a garden. I have never had one successfully, but I have kept a succulent before- kind of.
-you pick out weeds
-you water it!
-you upkeep it and continue to change what it has!
The next day, I went to go to my room at Camp Hope. Gozo, with the cerebral palsy kids.
After an hour, one of the tias Tania came to me and said “camila! Hoy necesito ayuda con el jardin!”
I GASPED.
She said “ cami! Today I need help with the garden!”
I GOT TO WORK IN A GARDEN THE NEXT DAY FOR 5 HOURS
.
I was able to really see and know what making my heart a garden meant.
This is what I learned :
You have to
•clean out old weeds
•cut off the dead flowers
•did up the good dirt!
•water it!
So- what does this mean about my heart?!?
This is what I wrote in my journal that night afterwards.
“you told me that I am going to have to get rid of old parts of me that don’t bring life anymore. You say that I have goodness deep within me & it is a matter of watering what you’ve given me. You don’t just want me to LOOK like im yours, but you want my heart. You will be working on me night & day and make grow whatever I water! You say that it will not be a clean job, but I’ll have to get in the middle of things and be willing to get dirty. “
So to see if what I realized was true, I searched.
With good DIRT:
“And some fell into good soil and grew & yielded a hundredfold.”
Luke 8:8
As I kept reading I found out what having good soil means
“As for that in the good soil, that are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in and honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience”
Good soil is being honest, having a good heart, and being patient with growing. I have to exchange the outside dry soil of beating-around- the-bush and start being real with myself and other people too!!
About WEEDS:
“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of his heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)
The weeds here in Ecuador are little yellow flowers.
When asking my friend Selina about a garden, she said that these little ones are hard to dig out.
We don’t want to ruin the prettiness!
But underneath in the roots these weeds get in the way and keep the real flowers from actually growing,
God doesn’t want my prettiness to rely on my outside if it has to be from a place of pretending or just acting. he wants to work on picking out the weeds within me to really & actually help me grow.
About WATERING:
“Whoever believes in me, as the scripture said ‘out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. Now this he said about the spirit.” (John 7: 38-39)
“But his delight is in the law of the lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. he is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season..and all that he does prospers.”
(Psalms 1: 2-3)
To water my garden in my heart, I need to keep God at the Center of my thoughts & motives day and night ! With this, if I live by the spirit of God, I never have to worry about what I do being good or not- because God’s spirit is good!
Lastly, I realized one big thing.
Sunflowers literally have to face the sun to grow. Wherever the sun is, they face that way and they get the best vitamins.
The only way I will truly grow from the roots up is if I keep my path & sight on Him and what HE wants for me. if I face Him in everything, I don’t have to worry.
Thank you for being patient with me in this gardening process!!
I love you all a lot.
Xox,
Cami
(UPDATE:
tonight at 11 pm we are leaving Ecuador for Peru!! The past two months has been this whole process of growth, and love. The goodbyes we had to say at ministry yesterday were so hard and I cried a lot- I’m so grateful I was able to be a part of what Camp Hope does.
Hoping I can write about all that I learned from working there the past two months!!)
