I’ll be honest…I’m not the best at prayer. I’m one of those people who plans to pray for you, says I’m praying for you, etc. and then forgets. Prayer in general is not my strong suit, because I tend to feel like I’m spouting off a list of things or people I’m asking God to get to, instead of feeling like I’m having a conversation with Him. Give me something to read – the Bible, anything – and I’ll be occupied for days. But ask me to be authentic and honest before the Creator of the universe, and it just seems difficult.
But last week, every single night, I had trouble sleeping. Thankfully most days, I didn’t have to be anywhere until late afternoon, but it was still a pain to be exhausted and be laying (lying?) in bed for hours. I thought my days of sleep problems were over?? I do think though that trouble sleeping is God’s way of telling me to come before Him, and I am thankful for that. Thankful that there is nothing on TV at 3AM, thankful that I can’t turn the light on in my room to read because I would wake my roommate, so the only thing left to do is talk with Jesus. And He used that time last week to strengthen my faith in this decision to go on the World Race (because my heart hurts with the thought of leaving New York), and His provision for this adventure, financially and otherwise. He also laid a few people on my heart to pray for, whom I later found out were in much need of prayer and encouragement. Which of course encourages me to see how God moves in each of our hearts seperately, and yet in sync. Its funny how He uses these annoying times of sleeplessness, when I’m angry at my misfortune, to bring blessing and encouragement to myself and others.
Holy Father, please bless these last three weeks of my time in New York. Use me in the lives of people around me, and teach me to trust in You in the changes that will occur in the next 18 months. I know you have a plan, and I trust in that plan, that you work all things together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Increase my love for others, increase my faith in Your plan. Mold my heart to be more like Yours.
