He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
psalm 40:2
The first day after arriving at Four Square Orphanage in Phnom Kol, Cambodia was spent as a day of prayer and planning for our short three weeks of ministry. We asked God what His heart was for these children, how we can show them His love and asked Him to refresh us as a body as we learn to work together for His glory.
During this prayer time, Sarah spoke out that the Lord wanted us to get dirty while we’re here. We didn’t speak any further on the topic, but throughout my days I continued to question why God would want us to get dirty. Ten days later I was about to fall asleep and was asking the Lord about some thoughts that had been troubling me, and He said that we (as a team) are about to get dirty.
Dirty? What do You mean Lord? Like dirt under my fingernails or like dirty in relationships? Isn’t a dirty, messy, unconventional lifestyle what this year is all about? To become wrecked for the ordinary? I kind of expected to be dirty and smelly and gross for this year. Isn’t that what it is like to be a missionary? I kind of expected that most missionaries are earthy, raw, and not afraid of a little dirt. And for my own adventure this year, though I’d rather be clean, I expected at least physical dirtiness. What does God mean by “dirt”?
After further conversation and prayer about what it means to get dirty, I’m finding new understanding to the kind of messiness our team is in need of – we need to allow ourselves to fail. Not that we aren’t aware of our shortcomings, not that we are always number one (heck, we placed third in the Bangkok race), but that we are still holding tight to those things which bring us comfort and help us feel clean – from bug spray to polite laughter, from daily showers to always having smiling faces. Failing allows to be vulnerable and broken for God to step in and demonstrate His great power. We need to get dirty in the sense of letting go of our conceptions of God and of missions and of culture. We need to get dirty in the sense of not being separate from those we are ministering to, but to let go and be aware of the fact that we are just as dirty and poor and wretched as the least of these.
Our final week at Four Square brought us closer to this concept of getting dirty. The sand and gravel remain in our hands, ready to be scattered and smeared all over us. One sudden move and everything we have known for the past two months will change. Lord, change us. Let us not leave the same in which we arrived. We are ready.
The Past Week:
We have left our home of the last three weeks. For three short (but seemingly long) weeks, we slept, ate, and played with the 40 or so children and staff of Four Square Orphanage. We taught English, we shared the Word of God, we played, we disciplined, we lent helping hands, we loved. And now we have left our family. These children and staff have become part of who we are, and it is a new kind of leaving for each of us. Our families and friends back home are those we can still communicate with through email and phone calls, and in several months we will return home and see them once again. But will we get the chance to travel back to Phnom Kol and see our Cambodian family again?
Lord Jesus, please open the way. Forgive us for being hesitant to get dirt behind our ears and bugs in our beds. Forgive us for being selfish with our time and with our food, and for holding on to that which is clean and comfortable, because though letting go is scary, it is for Your glory. Father, continue the work you are doing in this place, and the work you have begun in many of the precious souls in the village nearby. Bring unity. Show Your heart and Your great love to Your people. Shower Your blessings – financial, physical, and spiritual – on these children and on this village. May they be called a City of Truth, God-seekers, Truth-tellers, Love-givers. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Upcoming:
This week we will reconnect with the other September and June World Race teams in Siem Reap for a time of debrief (and going to see the famous Angkor Wat on my birthday!). We will then travel back to Bangkok and the June teams will fly to Hong Kong, while September will fly to Manila, Philippines to begin a new month of ministry. This time is somewhat like limbo, and much of it will be spent on planes, trains, and automobiles, but we are thankful for the chance to spend time hearing the stories from the other ministries this month in Cambodia, and also for the time we are able to rest and recharge before our next site!
Please be in prayer with us:
Four Square Orphanage
Safe travels from Banan to Siem Reap to Bangkok to Manila
Seang – our amazing translator who is waiting for God to show him where to go from here
For our team to get dirty!
(picture blog from this month coming soon!)
