Dejected, a Welsh missionary trudges into yet another village, unsure of both his fate and how the villagers will react to the News he brings. He is one of hundreds of Welsh missionaries sent to the region of Assam in Northern India in the late 1800’s. In a place that is grasped by the most oppressive form of Hinduism, the caste system rules, and headhunters reign, the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been firmly rejected and many missionaries have already been martyred. But still, he goes on, and thanks to his efforts, he will see his first converts in a particularly brutal village.
The converts are a family: a husband, a wife, and their two children. Strongly opposing the family’s decision to profess Jesus as Lord, the village leaders decide to make an example out of the husband. To do so, they arrest the family and proceed to explain to the father that they must renounce their faith in public or face execution. Rather than recanting, the man replies with these two simple, yet powerful sentences: “I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.” His two children are subsequently shot down by archers. As his children both lay on the ground, the chief asks again for the man to deny his faith in God. This time, he replies “Though none go with me, I still will follow. No turning back.” Fueled with anger and resentment, the chief orders the archers to continue the work they had begun; the wife joins her children on the ground. When presented with a final chance to recant, the man states “The cross before me, the world behind me. No turning back.” He joined his family in glory.
No turning back.
These were the words I prayed to my Father when I was a little girl and accepted Him as my Savior on my bedroom floor.
They were the words I promised the Lord on February 16, 2016 when I was accepted to go on The World Race Gap Year.
They were the words I shouted at Training Camp and at Launch.
No turning back.
These words have been my heart cry. I have prayed to the Lord to show me true sacrifice. I have declared to my Jesus that He can have it all. I have expressed that I want to live a life of reckless abandon; one where I live a life worthy of the calling I have received, taking up my cross daily, for, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer so eloquently expressed, “When Christ calls a man, He bids Him come and die.”
So, why should I be surprised when things get hard? This is what I asked for, after all. When I signed up to be a Christian, I wrote my name down for a lifetime of indescribable joy, peace, and love, sure. But, I also signed up for a lifetime subscription of pain, sorrow, and suffering.
While my suffering may not be as extreme as the anguish brought upon the Indian family, I can relate to some extent. The Race has caused me to reflect on my understanding of sacrifice. To me, it looks a lot different on the outside than it does at its core. The cliché “don’t judge a book by its cover” is fitting, as its cover looks like trash-like you’re losing everything and gaining nothing, but the pages are filled with wonder and surprise and bountiful blessings.
All good things come from the Lord, and Philippians 1:29 tells us that we have been granted sacrifice, pain, and suffering. The word “granted” implies that sacrifice is a good gift; just as you grant someone a gift on their birthday, our Father has granted us this gift to suffer for His name.
So, sacrifice is a blessing, for it brings us closer to Him. The times of hurt and suffering and pain are followed by sweet seasons of joy, healing, and wholeness. We ask for blessing and we receive them; we ask for growth and our seeds blossom into flowers; we ask to trust the Lord fully and we learn to rely on Him; we ask to look like Jesus, and through suffering, we do. The thing that gets us is that the Lord’s answers to our cries don’t always look like we expect them to; we have to remember that looking like Jesus means taking up our cross.
Ultimately, to find perspective in our walk of “no turning back,” we have to trust that the trials we face are a blessing-part of a bigger plan from a bigger God; a God who sees us, hears us, and is faithful to keep His promises to us.
“To endure the cross is not a tragedy; it is the suffering which is the fruit of an exclusive allegiance to Jesus Christ. When it comes, it is not an accident, but a necessity. It is not the sort of suffering which is inseparable from this mortal life, but the suffering which is an essential part of the specifically Christian life. It is not suffering per se but suffering-and-rejection, and not rejection for any cause or conviction of our own, but rejection for the sake of Christ.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
FUN NEWS:
- My parents will be here in NINE DAYS!!!!! Wow, I literally cannot contain my excitement! To be known and loved by Will and Angie is a b l e s s i n g. I cannot wait to catch up, explore, and do ministry alongside them. We will be working with an organization called Wipe Every Tear; Wipe Every Tear works to bring freedom, hope, and a future to girls trafficked in the sex trade. We will be going into bars in the Red Light District and buying time with girls to share a Coke, a conversation, and Jesus’ love with them. It will be a ministry that is heavy on our hearts; please be in prayer for my family and all other families who will be taking His love to the streets and the bars of the Philippines.
- I depart for my final country (South Africa) in just 15 days… what???? How quickly the days go by never ceases to amaze me.
- As many of you know, I went on a short term mission trip to Nicaragua during the summer before my freshman year at Baylor. At the time, I was uncertain if I would ever return. However, the past few months, that country and its people have been heavy on my heart. So, after many weeks of prayer, I am PUMPED to announce that this summer, I’ll be returning to Nicaragua with the FCA group from Greenwood High School-this time, as a leader!! My main focuses on this week long trip will be discipling the girls that go on the trip and evangelizing to the Nicaraguans! Praise Him for sweet opportunities and a life full of adventure! (y’all had to know that I wouldn’t be staying home for too long before I left again lol)
