I don’t have a religion. I don’t want one; I don’t need one. I used to have one, but it’s gone. I got rid of it. Like a terrible disease my religion took over-my thoughts, my body, my words-they were all dictated by my religion. I didn’t want it to get so bad. I tried to stop it, but like wildfire it consumed me. I tried to get rid of it. I tried to rid myself of the disease that was my religion, but I was entangled in it; I thought I was terminal and the cure had not yet been discovered.
But then I found it. I found my cure in relationship.
Before I begin, please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. I am religious (I was a religion major for goodness sakes!!!!). I’m just saying that our religion shouldn’t be our priority.
Sometimes we think that as a Christian we need to have it all together. We stress perfection so much that we never stop to remember that we will never even be close to perfect without God. So we go throughout our days focusing on being the best Christian. We focus on following all the rules. We focus on having it all figured out. We focus on knowing all the answers. We focus on knowing our doctrinal and theological stance. We focus on so much that we don’t have time to remember that the bible tells us “only One thing is needed.”
I think this is a commonplace for believers.
The way I see it, we are driving on a road. There’s a wall in front of us keeping us from relationship with God. We run into it, back up, and run into it again. When we have religion but not relationship we keep running into the wall wondering why we can’t get to God, but it isn’t until we back up enough to see that the wall is our religion that we can address the problem. We have to call upon the only One who can direct us past this wall.
This was me. Essentially, I played the Christian game really well. I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, I could talk theology for hours on end, I followed all the rules; basically, I think I was trying to prove my spiritual maturity or something.
It went on for years. I was the preacher’s kid, so in my mind, I figured that all eyes were on me, and because they were, I needed to be on my best behavior 100% of the time. While, obviously, this is not a problem in and of itself, it became one when I viewed my faith as a set of rules and regulations. As I learned more, it got worse. I would pray a prayer and be like “heck yeah! That was a rockin’ one!!!!” or “wow I just pwned* all those n00bs when I used the words ‘Arminian’ and ‘progressive sanctification.’ AYO!!”
It was about me; it was about what I knew; it was about what I could bring to the table. And it wasn’t until recently that I even recognized this as an issue. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that my prayers, words, and actions were for me and not for God. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I wanted people to hear I was a Christian by my words rather than letting them see it through my life.
It wasn’t until recently that I finally humbled myself before my Creator.
The Bible tells us that in whatever we do, whether it be in word or deed, we are to do it for the glory of the One who created us and set us free (Colossians 3:17). We are called to present ourselves as empty vessels before the Lord, allowing Him to speak and act through us. The essence of our true and proper worship is to present ourselves as a living sacrifice to Him; the point of our lives is to glorify Him (Romans 12:1).
What’s crazy is that my knowledge and religion that I thought was setting me free was keeping me in bondage.
But intimacy with my creator was my escape, and oh how sweet it is to find my freedom in Him.
*variations: powned, pwnd; definition: derived from the word “own”, to pwn someone is basically to slay them, show them up, dominate them, humiliate them, etc. (if you’re over 40 and use this word, all the kids will think you’re super cool and hip… I promise)
FIELD UPDATES:
We are currently in Lezhe, Albania (pronounced lasia, not lez-he… oops) working at a kid’s camp/ farm for a man named George. We will be leaving here and heading to Durres, Albania (not sure about this pronunciation yet… update to come) to work for a church this upcoming Wednesday!!
Also… on our off day we went to a castle and jumped off an abandoned pier into a lake AYO!!
