Today is May 1, 2009 meaning I will be leaving in exactly three months for my eleven month mission trip. As school begins to clear and the trip seems to move closer to the front of my mind, I find myself becoming more overwhelmed with the idea of leaving for 11 months. But at the same time I am becoming increasingly certain that I am doing the right thing. I ran across a quote in a book I’m reading. It is called “Shadow of the Almighty” by Elisabeth Elliot, and it is about her husband, Jim Elliot. He was one of the men the movie End of the Spear was based on. He was killed by the very people he was trying to share the gospel with. He was certain from the time he was in fifth grade he was supposed to be doing international ministry and he wrote this as a junior in college, a year younger than I am right now…….
“They must hear of the Savior! How can we wait? O’ Lord of Harvest, do send forth laborers! Here am I, Lord. Behold me, send me. How deaf must be the deafness of the ear which has never heard the story; how blind the eye that has not looked on Christ for light; how pressed the soul that has no hope of glory; how hideous the fate of man who knoweth only night! God arouse us to care, to feel as he Himself does for their welfare!”
………I honestly have no response for this. I only know that I am not here yet, this is not the cry of my heart, but for maybe the first time ever, I honestly want it to be.
I honestly believe I have learned as much in the last 3 months as I have in the last three years. For the first time in my life I am holding my life with my hands open to the lord. These past three months have not been- this is what I want to do, so the Lord must be in it, but rather – Lord here is my life, do with it as you please.
I have made the grave mishap of mistaking my desires as a compass for truth in my life. Our desires are not bad things; A desire for a good job, a good salary, a good home, a good family, a good marriage, or even a good meal. But too often these desires become a way of life. They become ultimate in our lives and we begin to see these desires as our so called “purpose” and since we are christian, then Christ must be in these desires. My eyes have been opened to lack of truth in these statements. Christ is our purpose and he is our measure for truth, anything less is simply a lie. Too often I find myself living this lie, I find myself pursuing these things for my gain, and my gain alone.
It is a constant battle to submit to the Lord, but it is one I found worth fighting these past three months. The will of the lord is and never will be the easiest or safest place to be, but in the end I believe it is worth every minute.
So as I will watch these three months before my trip begin to tick by no doubt I will become more and more nervous and I trust there will even be times when I think I am making a huge mistake. But when I can finally settle down and return to Him, I will know that the lord has me where he wants me. And he does not promise that it will be easy…. only that he will be with me. And that he will always give me what I need. I pray the lord makes the quote above the cry of my heart, I pray he transforms me into a man that is increasingly more and more like Christ, that he make me a man who stands up for what he believes and is willing to fight for it. I ask that you join me in this prayer for both myself and yourself as well. We are the body, we are the hands and feet.
