Seth Barnes the director and founder of AIM recently wrote a blog that I found to be both very good and very thought provoking. It was a letter addressed to his future son-in-law, the man/men that he will trust his daughter/s to. It has made me think. (This whole blog may make more sense if you read that first….)
I have said it before and will say it again, I think The World Race is a lot like a crash course in marriage. In a different respect most certainly, but you are locked up with people for an extended period of time and HOPEFULLY everybody is on board, committed to making this family work. Anyways as weird as this is for me I have decided to write a letter to my potential father in law.
Disclaimer: In no way shape or form is thisa letter to Seth Barnes asking for his daughter’s hand, have not met any of them, though I’m sure each of them are quite lovely.
Dear Potential Father-In-Law,
If you are reading this, you can now clearly see from the title that something very big is about to happen. I am about to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage. I cannot begin to tell you the emotions I am feeling at this point in asking you for your daughter’s hand, because I do not doubt for a second how precious she is to you. I am effectively asking to some effect, to take the main male role in her life, though I do not pretend that I ever will take the place of her father. I have not come to this decision lightly or without having bathed the decision in prayer, and I hope you know I come to you as humbly as possible. There is really no way at this point that you could even begin to have full trust in me, but hopefully through our interaction and my actions towards your daughter you are able to see that I have absolutely the upmost respect for you and your family, and regard it as nothing light to ask to become part of your family. I realize that your daughter is a packaged deal with you and your family and I want you to know that I would be honored to enjoy it on any and every level. A few other things:
1. 1. I am absolutely scared out of my mind of marriage, but I want you to know I am committed. Let your yes’s be yes and no’s and be no. I tell you I am a man of my word and am in for the long haul.
2. 2. I have every expectation that marriage is probably one of, if not the, hardest and yet most wonderful commitments I will ever make, second only to maybe having children.
3. 3. I am absolutely committed to your daughter, in body, mind and spirit.
4. 4. I will love her until the end of my life
5. 5. I will not elope, unless directly encouraged to do so by yourself, and perhaps not even then.
6. 6. I will fight for your daughter, both physically and spiritually. I will hold her when she’s scared, pray with her when she is frightened, and stand strong when she is weak.
7. 7. I will look to both her and you for counsel in my life. I have much to learn that both you and her can teach, and though I am often hard headed I will undoubtedly need direction in my life.
8. 8. Your Daughter will be to my family a complete member. The sister my sister never had, and a second daughter and sister for both my parents and brothers. No family privilege will be withheld.
9. 9. I have plans for providing for us financially though I cannot assure you that they are without flaw or that they won’t change. I do however promise to seek Christ in any and all careers, or jobs that I have. I do not promise to be rich, or even to try to be, but I promise you, your daughter will have the very best I can offer.
Your Hopefully Potential Future-Son-In-Law,
Callan Brown Edquist
Disclaimer 2: I have every intention of actually talking to my potential father in law when the time comes, not just sending him a letter. Consider this a study guide for myself if and when that day comes.
