A not so glamorous life style……
When I first heard about the world race it seemed like pretty much the coolest thing anyone could ever do. 11 months, 11 countries, traveling to literally all over the world getting to a month of mission work in each country. It sounds, for lack of a better word, glamorous. It sounds awesome. It is the rock star of mission trips.
Don’t get me wrong this year has been amazing. It has opened my eyes to so much. There are times every month where I laugh so hard I am crying. I have met some amazing people. A few I am sure I will be in touch with for the rest of my life and who could potentially play a large role in my life for years to come.
But to be honest…..this year has been so much harder than I could have ever imagined. I was a little naïve about the whole thing going into it. I was caught in awe looking at the trip and how majestic everything was going to be. What I missed, and failed to think about, is that real life is rough. Real life is not easy. Its rocky and bumpy and people are rocky and bumpy and full of junk to be dealt with.
This mission trip is so much different than anything else I hae ever done in the “missions” category. Most of the work I have done in this category is very short term and every day is exciting and new, you try to soak in every moment because it is over soon.
But this year has been VERY LONG at times. There are mornings where I wake up and I simply have not wanted to get out of bed. I don’t want to tell David and Goliath one more time, I don’t want to play duck duck goose again, I definitely don’t want to have to try and talk to a translator who doesn’t speak English. I don’t want to do it.
If you would have asked me before this year what kind of person does missions for a living, I most likely would have described someone very pious, someone who is seeking the lord and who is on fire for the lord, and if I had to take the guess I would say they loved 95% of their days.
What I have seen though on the field from the full time missionaries we have encountered and what I have even experienced in myself is that being on the “field” can just be hard. It can be miserable, it can be everything you don’t want to be in right now. Jesus tells us to go to the nations making believers and baptizing in the name of the father, son and holy spirit. What he doesn’t say is this will be easy. I often times think of myself as very mature, understanding the world for what it is, and tend to consider myself a realistic guy, with realistic expectations. But I pretty much missed the boat on all accounts here.
I am a wreck and if you don’t believe me I can point you to 39 individuals who will vouch for this in a heart beat. Some days I have won the fight to just keep going, and honestly other times I have lost it, I have thrown in the towel. In a lot of ways I am not half the man I thought I was. But I have come to accept that the man I thought I was or was becoming was missing a lot and was a little off course.
