Coming on to the race I thought that it would be a piece of cake. I thought everyday was gonna be the best and that, yeah, I’ll get a lil homesick here and there, but for the most part I thought it was gonna be a breeze. But this past week has proved me wrong.
Monday of last week I started feeling sick. It was around noon during lunch. I sat out the rest of that day to rest and make sure I don’t over work my body. While resting I just thought about home. How I wished I could be in bed eating some American food and having my mom take care of me. For the rest of that day I just kept to myself and was on my phone most of the day. The next day I went to ministry and was still feeling a little sick but I just pushed through and I still worked. While working, all I could think about was home. I just listened to music that reminded me of friends and family and I barely said a word to anyone. That night I took some medicine and began to feel better. And for the rest of the week until Sunday I physically felt great but I also was missing home a whole lot. For most of that week I was on my phone during free time and I was just listening to music and playing games to try and numb myself from the homesickness. Sunday night we had team debrief and I realized how much my week was wasted on my phone and I was told that instead of going on my phone when I was in pain, I need to go to my team for help and encouragement. This was very helpful and I was ready to start a new week and I was going to do better. Monday morning I woke up with a huge stomach ache. I felt nauseas and my stomach felt like it was eating itself. During devotions I just got so angry. I thought I was healed and on top of that I was gonna sit out of more ministry. I got a nice 2 hour nap and I watched some movies and listened to a teaching. Once I ran out of things to do on my phone, all I could do was just think of home and the physical pain in my stomach that I was experiencing. I just wanted to be home. That night after dinner I could feel God really trying to teach me something. My teams chores for the week are cleaning the kitchen after every meal. Four guys for breakfast and four guys for dinner. While doing the dishes I felt the sickest that I had felt the whole day. After having a really late start to dinner and a later start on dishes, we finally finished washing them and the guys went to hang out in the living room and most everyone else went to bed being that it was late. Since my job is to put the dishes away, and that is the easiest job, I have to clean the rest of the kitchen. Wether I think this is fair or not, I did it. Feeling like I was about to throw up and having to wipe countertops, sweep, mop, clean the two stoves, and put the dishes away really put me in a bad mood. I just wanted to be in bed asleep. I was fed up with feeling sick and crummy. But the Lord was teaching me to be a servant. To carry my cross even when I don’t feel like it or it hurts. To serve my brothers and go the extra mile even if I don’t think it’s fair. It wasn’t fair for Jesus, who was innocent, to die for us who are sinners. But He did it anyway.
Since arriving on the race, I have been dying to my old selfish and prideful self and been becoming more like Christ. Dying and becoming a new person hurts but also is the best feeling in the world. His love and grace has been filling in those parts that have been stripped and He is taking over more and more of me. I still have a long way to go before I am anything like Christ but I am ready. Ready to face the new challenges that come my way. I appreciate all the prayers coming from back home. They mean a lot and they are definitely felt.
