To be honest I don’t know where to start this story.
Maybe we start at debrief where we were called to declare things we wanted to take ownership over in this next portion of the race. Things we knew we were not pressing into completely, and things we started to own up to. I double dipped, and said I really wanted to get to know people we encounter, and I wanted to pray for healing. Two things I have been slightly avoiding in the first 4 months, because I, to be honest, I was scared. Starting month 5, we are no longer baby ‘racers, we know what is going on, time to start pushing the comfort zone even more.
Maybe we start with our first team meeting as a new team, Dynamic Pursuit. Where we all agreed with a unity spirit that we wanted to follow Holy Spirit, and we wanted to flow with Holy Spirit as Christ did.
Maybe we start with us getting getting out of the van, as we were doing ‘house visits’ in the deep bush of Binga, Zimbabwe.
Let us set the scene. We file out of the van to see two typical bush of Africa huts with two women, each with two children. Mariah takes point.
“We are here to show you the love of God”.
She was at a loss for words, which if you know Mariah is quite incredible to say the least. I know this because she repeated the same phrase 4 or 5 times. The rest of us were speechless as well.
How do we show the love of God to these women in less then the 15 minutes we are here? How can we meet their physical needs? We don’t have anything to give them. How do we meet their emotional needs? We are only here for a small period of time. How can we meet their spiritual needs? What do we pray for, because when we ask they both respond saying they do not need anything?.
My eyes are firmly fixed on my own feet, wrestling with these questions. I notice one of the women’s feet have giant tumors on them, my heart is crying out. I then notice another pair of feet, I look up to see a blind women (who seemly appeared out of no where) ask our driver (Dumi) if we can come pray for her house. As we follow the women to her house, Mariah looks at me expectantly and says, “What are you thinking?”. I respond, “3 things: 1) what is the risk? There is none. 2) when am I going to step out? & 3) when else am I going to get this opportunity?”. My heart is set, I am going to step out and believe that showing God’s love in a tangible way, by praying for healing for this women.
Dumi asks who wants to pray, the crowd of us are still silent for a good moment or two, so I step forward. I ask Dumi if I can pray for her sight, he nods.
I get down on my knees and kneel to be on eye level with the women. My spirit is red hot. I pray. “Eyes be opened”.
Nothing.
Some of my teammates join in.
Nothing.
The women then asks if we can pray for here house. This summer Zim has had more rain then in the last 30 years, and her roof leaks on her when it rains, which is practically every night.
We surround the house, and pray for “no more leaky roof”.
We her house fully expecting God to work a miracle, yet the van ride back to our encampment was silent. What had happened God? People began to make excuses to why she wasn’t healed. I stay silent, biting my nails. I know God is faithful.
We come back the next week. Roof still leaks and she is still blind.
Okay God, wassup? Didn’t you hear that we prayed? What is going on?
We find out that we can get straw for a new roof for only $20. “Great”, we all reply. Dumi our translator and driver told us that their is a man, maybe a family relative, lives one that property as well, in the bigger house. He is the one who built the blind lady’s house, and so we will what for him to get back and then ww will talk how we can help out.
We called back several times throughout the next week. I do not know how we called, but Dumi did it for us. Each time he reported that the man was not back yet.
On our full final day in Binga we went back to her house to see what else we could do, just to check in one more time. We arrived at her property yet we all felt that something was a different, some of us even questioned if this was even the right property. Did we go to the wrong place?
Then I saw it. Where her house had stood was now a rubble of ash and wood.
I look up to see the blind women exit the other house holding a baby in her hands.
God what had happened? Of course my mind jumps the worst logical conclusion, lighting, or something had burned down her house. God, I don’t think you get the point, we are supposed to be here to spread your love, so when we pray good things happen, not every time we pray the situation gets worse.
Even the HOPE Ministries team, with whom we were living and doing life with, were unsettled. Not only now is she homeless but she is also carrying for an infant.
We come to learn that her house did burn down. She was trying to get rid of the bugs, and the house caught on fire. She made it out just fine, and she was now carrying for her Granddaughter. She also was now living in the man’s house who also stays on the property, but has been there lately.
Okay God, what do we do know? If we were speechless the first time we showed up, the last time was as quite as a cemetery.
I then started to ask the most basic of questions.
“Does she believe in Jesus?”
She did.
Emily asks, “What does Jesus mean to her?”
The blind women responded saying, “Jesus is her savior, who always protects her and provides for her.”
I was again astonished. We ask to pray for her, she allows it. Then I ask for her to pray for us, because it seems obvious that her faith is stronger then ours.
Translated her prayer went along these lines, “I can’t see what color the grass is, but I feel that it is grass. I can’t see what color the ground is, but I feel that is the ground. God you have given me everything I need. I am content to be with you. “
WHAT! I had to pick my jaw up off the dirt floor. We got back in the van, again completely silent.
I think sometimes we allow our privilege to blind us to the miraculous. We have come to help, so we want to help. We want to DO something.
I am still processing what to do, how I feel about this whole thing. What happened? What was the Holy Spirit doing?
It is easy to praise God when you see a miracle. It is easy to praise God when you see Him working good in your life. It is harder to praise God when after you pray for healing nothing happens. It is even harder to praise God when after you pray for a house it burns to the ground. It is hard to praise God when you leave someone it what would seem like a worse spot then when you arrived.
Yet we don’t see the whole picture. We only see the part we are in. We always want to see God in the part we are in. We want to see the miraculous where we are. Yet God sees the whole picture, the timeline of that women’s life, and He is in every second of every moment. He is working things out of love, out of faithfulness, and in goodness. Even when we don’t see it.
This is a hard lesson to swallow. But God is working, even when we don’t see anything. In my life. In your life. And in the blind women life.
